Potato Clover Dinner Rolls

made a ham today, so i thought i'd make some potato bread dinner rolls to go with them. the potato and buttermilk in the dough made them nice and soft, and they were flavorful, too. i'd make 'em again.

CYA: Juliet & The Darter Get Started

NOTE: if you did not jump to this chapter as a result of the Choose Your Adventure story, please go here before reading any further!


"you got wheels, big guy?" juliet asked the darter.

"yes, my scooter is out front. let's go!"

"scooter?" juliet mouthed at danny, who just shrugged.

the darter mounted his bike, pushed a button, and the motor hummed to life.

"wrap your arms around me and hold on tight!"

she took the seat behind him and held on as they sputtered off. "say, where are we going, anyway?"

"golden gate park," juliet told him. "the unconventional conventionists just happen to be holding their annual convention there. in the house."

"hey, what a stroke of luck, huh?"

"yes, it's quite a shocking plot development," juliet agreed, only slightly sarcastically.

they reached the park and parked next to a long line of motorcycles outside of a spooky old castle perched incongruously on the park grounds. the front door was open and they walked inside to the sound of a rock 'n roll beat and saw the unconventional conventionists dancing throughout the house.

"what is this place? a hunting lodge for rich weirdos?" the darter looked around, clearly out of his element.

an unconventional conventionist approached. "lovely party, wouldn't you say?"

"fabulous," juliet agreed. "but listen, love. could you help us out? our friend benjamin franklin is stuck in 1876 and we need to use the sonic tranducer to go rescue him. can you take us to the controls?"

"oooh! an adventure! this way, hon'."

the followed the unconventional conventionist down a grand, curving ramp into a wide open room on the lower level and spied some levers on the wall.

"there it is!" juliet stroked the levers lovingly. "do we need to tell the other conventionists what we're doing?"

"no, they'll be okay. it's a smooth flight."

"then let's go!"



Click here for classic rock

Click here for alternative

Click here for glam rock

Click here for the crazy train

Is There A Doctor In The House?

"hey, danny boy! whatcha serving tonight?" cardigan hollered at his friend as he entered the Pub.

"lentil soup," blake replied. "with some of burkie's french bread."

"that's sounds divine," cardigan rubbed his hands together, then accepted a beer from danny. "thank you, sir." he walked back to join the others at their regular table.

"hey, gavin! sierra's sister is here," marian called out to him.

cardigan's eyes twinkled as he extended his hand toward the young woman. "gavin cardigan at your service, miss."

"foxy charles, sir, and the pleasure is all mine," came high-pitched reply accompanied by a flurry of fluttering lashes and sparkling teeth.

"what brings you to town?"

"i live here. i'm usually too busy to hang out all the time like you guys, but it's spring break."

"oh? what's your major?"

this innocent question was greeted by laughter, high-fives, and the passing of a $10 bill from taylor to Mysterious Lurker. "she's a professor, cardigan," sierra grinned at him.

cardigan lowered head to sip his beer. "i knew that," he muttered. "i meant, what do you teach?"

"anthropology."

"huh. i see. well, that's certainly, uh, interesting."

"you'd be surprised," foxy winked.

blake saved cardigan's bacon by bringing the soup and bread over. "here you go, mate."

"hey, danny! can i have that bacon you just saved?" sierra reached over to grab blake's shoulder.

"huh?"

"oh, sierra. that's just an expression. 'to save somebody's bacon' means to help someone out of a tricky situation, or pull their ass from the fire," foxy explained.

"oh. phooey." sierra pouted.

"burkie and i should include that one in our textbook, though. that's a good one," foxy reached into her bag for a pen and notebook to write it down.

"you and burkie are writing a textbook together?" the Lurker asked.

"oh, no," sierra and marian groaned at the same time.

"yes," foxy explained. "it's for his course on American Popular Culture for Immigrants and First Generation Americans. it's a brilliant course, you know."

"yeah, we've heard," sierra muttered, swiping a piece of bread off cardigan's plate.

It's Not Where You Are, But Where You Aren't

gavin cardigan walked into Poor Yorick's Pub, as is his wont, and yelled out to his buddy, as is his wont, "hey, danny boy! what're we eating tonight?"

"vietnamese shaking beef with watercress," came danny blake's answer, already pouring a beer.

"thank you, sir," cardigan took the glass and walked back to his customary table to join the others. "howdy, y'all."

"hi, gavin," marian elfman welcomed him to the table. "how's business?"

cardigan grunted. "oh, it's okay, i guess. i ran down a deadbeat dad today, so i closed that case. a new client wants me to look into the backgrounds of a couple of local college football players who could be drafted by the NFL next month."

"really? which school do they play for?" taylor asked eagerly, and indeed, they all leaned in closer.

"a local school is all i know," cardigan replied glumly. "i'm sorry, guys, i wish i knew more, too."

"i thought you were supposed to be the world's greatest detective, gavin," linda nulo sighed. "can't you figure out where we're supposed to be?"

"burkie won't tell me anything," cardigan grumbled. "you know how clever he is."

sierra charles nodded knowingly. "true. remember when he wore shoes from two different pairs once?"

"and how he thought the water pump on a car was the thing that sprayed water on your windshield?" blake added as he brought cardigan's salad to the table.

"i've given this matter much thought," marian noted. "i think we can reason this out. remember when we were talking about vacation spots? that means we obviously aren't in new york, santa fe, or a place with warm, sunny beaches."

"and now we know there is at least one university here," added Mysterious Lurker, her jet black hair blending in with the shadows behind her.

"and it gets blustery cold at times," cardigan mused, thinking about how he sometimes enters the pub to get out of the wind. "maybe it's chicago?"

"burkie's never been to chicago," a voice spoke up behind them.

"hello, who are you?" sierra asked the newcomer.

"Special Assistant Hepzibah. i'm burkie's, er, special assistant."

"hepzibah?" tucker sounded excited and started strumming his guitar.

"that's okay, tucker. i don't need a song, really." s.a. hepzibah implored him, but it was too late.

hepzibah was a desert rose
she wore a red stone in her nose
she had a runner in her hose
my little desert rose

"really, tucker, it's not necessary."

the sunshine kissed her golden skin
pride was her favorite deadly sin
it's where she's going, not where she's been
she is my yang, i am her yin

linda shook her head, and the Lurker patted her shoulder sympathetically.

"does this mean that wherever we are, it's a place that burkie has been to?" sierra broke in.

"correct," s.a. hepzibah replied. "it doesn't mean he knows it well, but he has at least done more than simply drive by it, which is the case with chicago."

"what's burkie got against chicago?" judge st. bishop demanded, storming in.

"nothing," s.a. hepzibah responded. "at least, not to my knowledge. he likes their football team. the cubs, right?"

"the bears," they all reply in unison.

"anyway, i don't think he has anything against chicago."

"well, he should go there sometime and find out for himself before he categorically eliminates it!" the judge declared.

"i'm sure he will someday, but his schedule is kind of full at the moment, what with planning his trip to italy. that's why i'm here tonight instead of him. he says hello, though."

"italy? can we go?" sierra perked up.

"well, i guess. i mean, you aren't real, so you can go wherever you want." s.a. hepzibah answered slowly.

she followed me to italy
and even on to sicily
we toured the sights extensively
arm-in-arm, companionably

"i guess that means we're not in italy, either," marian noted as she typed it into her "Where Are We?" spreadsheet under the "Eliminated" column.

Party Politics

"howdy, danny boy! what's on the menu tonight?" cardigan was already rubbing his hands together in anticipation of sampling danny blake's offering of the day.

"broccoli cornmeal upside-down cake," blake answered back.

"no, no, no!" judge st. bishop stormed in, slamming the door. "there are so many things wrong with that i don't know where to start!"

"what's the problem, your honor?" Mysterious Lurker appeared suddenly, her bright blue eyes twinkling.

"he's putting cornmeal together with broccoli! then he's making cake out of cornmeal! then he's making cake out of broccoli! that's just taboo on so many levels!"

cardigan slapped the judge on the back. "take it from me, judge. danny's instincts are never wrong. if he makes it, it is worth eating."

the judge simply walked out the door, muttering to himself and shaking his head. "so wrong, so wrong...."

cardigan shrugged and he accompanied the Lurker back to the table. "what's going on tonight, people?"

"we're planning a party," marian explained.

"why?" cardigan was puzzled.

"why? because parties are fun!" marian replied.

"and there's beer," taylor added.

"and food," sierra piped in.

"and cool people," the Lurker said, the beer in her glass reflecting in her deep brown eyes.

"i see," cardigan replied thoughtfully, taking in the beer mugs and empty plates on the table in front of his friends. "yes, that has certainly been missing in my life."

marian scowled at him. "you're a party pooper!"

"i'm not a party pooper, i just don't see the point. we have a party here every night, and buddy lee over there does the clean-up." he motioned toward the creepy doll at the end of the bar, who stared blankly in return. "it's a sweet deal."

"but we can have a theme party," the Lurker explained, running her fingers through her euro-red hair. "like a costume party."

"oh, we can all dress up like characters from quentin tarantino movies!" marian suggested.

taylor grimaced. "you got that idea from a 'Gilmore Girls' episode."

marian made a face at him, then clapped her hands together. "we could all be characters from 'Gilmore Girls.'"

"no!" they all said in unison.

marian pouted. "burkie would like the idea."

"burkie's not here," taylor pointed out, knocking a plate to the floor in the process. "how about famous monsters?" he showed off his fangs.

"no!" they all said in unison.

"you could have a food theme," blake suggested as he brought over cardigan's cornmeal brocolli upside-down cake. "you know, like broccoli."

"or bacon!"

"kimchi!"

"dark chocolate!"

"blood!"

"never mind," blake wandered back to the bar to stack coasters and do other barkeeperly things of that sort.

"how about a poker game?" cardigan suggested.

"i hate cards," sierra groaned.

"twister!" the Lurker declared, her hair striped in red, blue, yellow, and green streaks.

"no!"

"risk!"

"hell, no!"

"we're not getting anywhere, guys," sierra noted. "how about a luau?"

"a fiesta!"

"chinese new year celebration!"

"a funeral!"

"no!"

What A Doll!

"hello, danny boy! what're we eating?" cardigan hurried into Poor Yorick's Pub out of the wind.

"taiwanese popcorn tofu," came the answer, as blake began pouring a beer.

"sounds....different. set me up, though," he took his beer and walked over to the join the others at the table. "hey, maddie! chris! what brings you guys to the pub?"

"i tried a new new cake recipe and wanted you guys to try it first. it's an orange-almond bundt cake."

"that sounds divine. where did you get the inspiration?"

maddog rolled her eyes over to where burkie was sitting. "oh. well, it still sounds good."

burkie shook his head. "let it go, cardigan." he turned toward maddog and chris. "thanks for dropping in tonight, guys. i'm sorry the beer selection isn't more diverse, but danny insists on keeping it simple and will only stock Guinness Stout and Bass Ale."

"don't worry about it, jb," chris said around a mouthful of the tofu. "as long as he cooks like this, it's good enough."

"good, is it?" cardigan asked?

"try it yourself," danny placed a basketful in front of cardigan, complete with fried basil leaves.

cardigan popped one in his mouth and crunched. "mmm, these could be addicting."

"i agree," sierra seconded, sneaking her chopsticks into cardigan's basket to swipe one. "so what's your beef with burkie, cardigan?"

"hey, guys!" tucker walked in the pub, guitar case in one hand, a pretty girl in the other. "this is linda nulo."

"hi, linda. welcome to the pub!" marian waved the newcomers over to the table.

"hello, everybody," linda smiled, looking around the Pub. "tucker told me this was a nice place, and you were nice people. he was right."

"how long have you and tucker been together, linda?" Mysterious Lurker asked.

"oh, we just got together today. it was burkie's idea. he put us on the same soccer team, and we just clicked."

cardigan grumbled and popped another popcorn tofu in his mouth. sierra, marian, and the Lurker all looked at each other and started giggling, guessing the source of cardigan's irritation with burkie.

blake brought over a couple of beers for the newcomers. "hola, senorita. mi taberna es su taberna."

"gracias," linda laughed. "your hospitality is legendary, danny."

taylor extended his hand. "i'm taylor, this is marian, that's sierra, Mysterious Lurker, maddie, chris, and that brooding lump of flesh is gavin."

linda quickly moved her beer to the side when taylor stuck his hand her way. "vampire of sorts, advice columnist for whiners, D-list celebrity, she who lurks and does many other things in a mysterious fashion, biscuit pusher, indulgent boyfriend, and the world's best detective," she recited.

the Lurker punched cardigan's arm. "hear that, gavin? you're the world's best!"

"tucker told me about how you solved spock's fake murder," linda explained. "that was brilliant."

caridgan turned a bright shade of pink. "i just watched a lot of 'star trek' growing up. too much, probably."

"that's right, you fired spock. have you hired a replacement, danny?" marian asked.

"yep. buddy lee." blake jerked his thumb over his shoulder toward the end of the bar. they looked and saw a 12" doll wearing dungarees and a flannel shirt, standing on the bar.

"buddy lee?!" cardigan was astonished. "not only is he not a real person, he's not real period!"

blake shrugged. "he's a phenomenal worker. i never see him move, but every time i turn around, his work is all done. i don't argue with results."

"he's creepy, danny," the Lurker looked a little alarmed.

blake half-smiled at her. "i've kind of gotten accustomed to people just popping up without my seeing them." he walked back to the bar, leaving the Lurker at a loss for words.

"this cake is terrific, maddie!" marian gushed.

"smashing!" added taylor.

"mmmmm," was all sierra could manage to get out, her mouth full of the moist, flavorful concoction.

"yeah, yeah, whatever." maddie looked annoyed. "it's not that great. he just got lucky."

tucker started strumming:

he walks into town
all five-foot eight
with a razor wit
and a chubby waist
his beard is grey
and his eyebrows bushy
an itty-bitty nose
and a great big--

"uh, tucker?" burkie interrupted. "how' bout some buffet, instead?"

Bagels!

i love bagels. as a man of few routines, i must have an everthing bagel at least 47 of the 52 sundays of the year. and i'll regret not having one those other sundays. so, in the year of bread, why not bagels? reinhart has this great looking recipe in his BBA. most of the work is done the day (or two) before you boil & bake them. then again, why go through all that bother when you can usually buy pretty darn good ones at the local shop when you want one? well, as i've learned so far in the year of bread, it's not that much bother. bread baking is more about timing than work. even kneading isn't that bad, and you can have your stand mixer or even use the "dough cycle" of your bread machine (in fact, the King Arthur Four Baking Companion claims the bread machine provides the best, most consistent results versus hand- or mixer-kneading). if you're going to be around your house anyway, then there's really not that much bother. now, the bagels are a little more work than most other breads. the dough is incredibly stiff, and my kitchen aid struggled getting the flour completely hydrated. this dough you HAVE to knead by hand (unless you're doing a smaller batch, i guess), and it's 10 minutes of hand-kneading of the stiffest dough there is. still, i have to say, it's worth it. these are really good bagels. chewy, malty, fragrant--and you control the toppings. i like a lot of onion, quite a bit of salt, and a good dose of poppy & sesame seeds, and i like them equally distributed on the top, bottom, and sides. as long as you top them this way, this is the way to go. if you're going cinnamon-raisin or pumpkin or bacon-cheddar, then you'd have to make a separate dough, and that is too much bother. and those aren't really bagels anymore, anyway. these are. i won't do it every week, but i'll definitely do it again. and again.

Place Your Bagel Order For Monday!!!

i'm making bagels tomorrow, but i have enough that i can make half of them tomorrow, and half
on monday and bring those to work. i can make 6 on monday: that's maddog, chris, candy, mira, russ, and ben. so, place your orders before, say, 9pm sunday night! your choices are:

plain
poppy seed
sesame seed
caraway seed
salt
onion
any combination of the above.

i'll bring plain cream cheese--other toppings are up to you.

CYA: Sierra & Henry, Option 4

NOTE: if you did not jump to this chapter as a result of the Choose Your Adventure story, please go here before reading any further!


sierra and henry appeared in the middle of a corridor of a building on the campus of boston university. they were nekkid.

sierra shrieked and ran down the corridor into a room. henry scurried after her and closed the door.

they heard another shriek behind them and a shout of, "sierra!"

"oh, no," sierra muttered.



Click here to continue

Sacaduro

these are unusual brazilian dinner rolls called sacaduro (saca = take out, duro = hard), so they're done when they're hard and crusty. i got from "the bread bible" by rose levy beranbaum. the rolls are a little unusual, but the recipe even more so. she says use 3/4 of the recipe of one of her basic recipes, then take pieces of dough from it and start rolling them up, etc. there is no rising or proofing in the recipe for the rolls; for the basic bread, there are multiple stages, and she never tells you at which stage you are supposed to switch over to the other reciple. and why only 3/4 of the recipe? you don't make any changes--you just make more rolls, which is much simpler than trying to cut the recipe by 1/4 or figure out what to do with the remaining 1/4 or thowing it away. odd. anyway, i made what i think was the right choice, which is where you begin to shape the basic bread. it was odd up until that point even, though. odd to me. you make a wet sponge, first. then you carefully add more flour and yeast on top of the sponge, but don't mix it in, cover and let ferment for 1 to 4 hours, and let the sponge eat its way up through the flour and yeast on top of it--or not, which is okay too. then you mix it all together, then let it sit 20 minutes, then add the salt and then knead it, then let it rise until it doubles. as i say, odd. what makes the rolls unusual is that you flatten them out, then place a cube of butter in the center, with a pinch of sea salt, then pull out two flaps from the side and fold them over the center, sealing the edges, then pull out two flaps from the other side and seal them less tightly, then pull two flaps from the other side and seal them even less tightly (the text describes it and says specifically a total of 6 pulls; the pictures, however, show and tell you to do a total of 8 pulls). then you place them upside-down in a bed of flour, pull them out and then bake them. the flaps are supposed to separate slightly with the flour dusting on the petals that separate. well, some did, some didn't. (i used 6 pulls, by the way, and even that was hard to get to.) these were tasty, though a bit doughy and heavy. i think i should've baked them longer, though i went quite a bit over the time specified in the recipe. i may try them again one day, but i won't be in a hurry. i'm a little suspect of that book, now. (i got it from the library, so no money wasted--unless i'm late in returning it, which i probably will be, but i like being late. it makes me feel like i'm supporting my local public library, which is a good thing. it should be tax deductible, i think.)

Murder Will Out...Won't It?

"ooh! another mystery!" marian perked up upon hearing of spock's murder.

"how cool is that?" taylor grinned, showing off his fangs.

"bring us all a drink, danny!" Mysterious Lurker called out. "we've got some deducing to do."

benjamin franklin cracked his knuckles, his eyes twinkling. "i do enjoy a good puzzle."

the judge crashed his hand down upon the table. "people, a man was just murdered right before our eyes, and one of you did it! show some respect and try to be serious for once!"

tucker was already strumming his guitar.

his ears were pointy
and his mind was sharp...

"settle down, guys. there something funny going on here," cardigan announced, standing over the pool of blood. "look, he's holding a newspaper in one hand, and it's opened up to marian's column."

sierra turned to marian and grinned. "it's a clue--he's saying you killed him!"

marian made a repugnant face. "i did NOT kill him! it was probably dat. that icepick looks like it could have fit inside his blowgun."

the Lurker nodded, then sighed, and shook her head. "no, i doubt it. i mean, he actually hit him, in the dark, and that's a good 12 feet away. of course, he may have been aiming at one of us instead, so i still wouldn't rule him out."

dat's face was turning an interesting shade of red, similar to the blood at cardigan's feet. "it wasn't me! i don't shoot icepicks--i shoot darts."

"hmmm," danny mumured. "this is interesting. the brand name of this icepick is 'Franklin.'"

"is it?" mr. franklin seemed quite excited about this. "i say, i've never been a murder suspect before. do they hang murderers here, or shoot them?"

"benjamin franklin is not a murderer!" the judge exlaimed. "he's never seen spock before and has no more reason to kill him than i would!"

"it's interesting that you say that, your honor," cardigan noted. "look at spock's other hand. it's on his chest, his index finger pointing directly at the Star Fleet insignia there."

"so what?"

"that insignia looks like the hat that bishops wear," taylor stated.

"a mitre," marian said, helpfully. she shrugged. "it's a common crossword puzzle term."

"what do you have to say to that, judge st. bishop?" sierra asked.

"that's preposterous!"

marian snickered. "i knew he was going to say 'preposterous.'"

"say, what's that?" blake pointed at spock's neck.

cardigan peered closer. "it's two puncture marks."

"taylor!" marian looked indignant.

"it wasn't me," taylor protested. "i don't really bite people. i'm not that kind of vampire."

"what kind of vampire are you, taylor?" Mysterious Lurker turned her golden brown eyes on him.

"that's for me to know and you to hope you never find out," taylor replied ominously, then immediately spilled his beer on his lap. marian, sierra, and the Lurker exchanged high-fives all around.

"there's also a guitar pick on the floor over here," cardigan exclaimed.

"tucker?" the Lurker turned her sad blue eyes on him. "why, tucker? you have so much going for you."

tucker shook his head. "it wasn't me, man. i don't need material that badly." still, he started strumming.

why'd you do it, tucker?
why'd you kill that man?
did he steal your supper?
did he ruin your plan?

"wait a minute," blake interrupted. "i don't understand this. there are clues here pointing to just about everybody here, except sierra, cardigan, the Lurker, and me."

"sierra had motive," taylor reminded them. "unrequited love, a woman scorned, and all that."

"i didn't have a crush on spock!" sierra insisted. "i didn't!"

"gavin and danny could've been jealous of spock because sierra had a crush on him instead of them," marian theorized.

"i didn't have a crush on spock!"

cardigan turned to face them. "have you figured it out? it's all here for you."

"really?" sierra sounded surprisingly impressed. "you're good, cardigan. who did it?"

"yes, i'm quite intrigued," mr. franklin said, putting a coin on the table. "i bet it's this charming young lady with the ever-changing hair color."

"why thank you, mr. franklin," the Lurker blushed. "you're such a sweet man."

"i'll take that action," tucker said, placing a fiver on the table. "i think it was the darter."

"sierra," taylor added his money to the pile.

"i have given this matter much thought," marian declared. "and i think it was burkie!"

"m...me?" burkie spluttered. they all turned back to look at their handsome creator, whom they had all forgotten was there. "i have nothing to do with this. i'm just observing."

"you're writing all this; you control everything," marian said, rolling her eyes.

"if i controlled everything, my glass wouldn't be empty," burkie retorted, looking pointedly at danny.

danny glared at him, then shrugged and poured him another beer. "so who did it, cardigan?"

cardigan grinned and tipped his beer glass, pouring the contents down onto spock's face. spock sat up sputtering and cursing in a strange tongue, creating gasps around the room.

"it was a trick?" marian turned on burkie, who shook his head and pointed at spock.

"indeed," spock replied, pulling the fake icepick from his head. "you were getting bored and needed something interesting to happen. judging by the newspapers and tv shows and movies and bestseller lists here, murder seems to be very popular and interesting."

"and a bloody mess," danny pointed out, pointing at the stain on the floor. "you're fired."

"how did you figure it out, cardigan?" sierra asked.

cardigan pointed at the floor. "it's the bloody mess. what do we know about vulcan blood?"

"it's green," the Lurker slapped her forehead. "how could i have missed that?"

"bravo, young man. bravo!" mr. frankling applauded cardigan. "well done, indeed."

spock walked over to grab his coat, then turned to sierra. "i'm sorry, miss. i cannot return your feelings."

"i don't have a crush on you!"

"yeah, keep telling yourself that," spock muttered as he walked out.

Live Long and Prosper

"hey, danny boy! gimme a plateful of something good," cardigan yelled at blake as he walked into the Pub, shaking off the rain.

"sausage biscuits," blake replied. "homemade sausage patties on maddog's buttermilk biscuits."

"life doesn't get much better than that, danny boy. thanks," cardigan takes his pint and walks toward the others. "howdy, y--"

FEVER dooooog
scratchin' at my back door...

cardigan stopped as Mysterious Lurker began belting out the song made famous in the movie "almost famous," the karaoke machine blaring at her feet. cardigan groaned. "not karaoke, please."

"shhhh! be quiet cardigan, she's doing great," sierra waved him over to an empty chair.

got to spit it out
the taste of the hair
of the feverrrrrrrrr dog...

cardigan watched the Lurker singing and swaying, lost in the moment. "i hate karaoke, charles. i'm not doing it."

the Lurker was taking her bows as everyone applauded, danny whistling in appreciation as he brought over cardigan's food. the Lurker walked over and handed him the microphone. "you sing something, danny."

danny backed away. "no thanks. i have work to do." he retreated to the back of the bar and began wiping glasses and other bartenderly things of that sort.

"we need more people," marian lamented.

"hey, burkie! send in more people!" sierra called out.

"sure thing," burkie replied, walking through the door with tucker, the darter, ben franklin, and the judge trailing behind.

the Lurker handed the microphone to ben franklin. "sing us a song, mr. franklin."

"why, thank you, miss. i'm told i have a nice baritone." he stepped forward and began to sing:

i like big butts and i cannot lie
you other brothers can't deny
when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist--

"stop that!" the judge strode over and took the microphone away. "ben franklin does not sing 'baby got back!' he does not know 'baby got back!' he's never heard it before! burkie, stop doing this!"

at that moment, there was a great boom of thunder, a flash of light, and then all the lights went out.

"sit tight, everybody," danny cautioned. "i've got some candles here somewhere."

there were sounds of danny moving things around, and then a heavy thump. a moment later, the lights came back on and sierra screamed. everyone looked toward her, but she was pointing toward the end of the bar. spock lay on the floor in a puddle of blood, an icepick sticking out of his temple.

cardigan rushed over to feel for a pulse, then shook his head. "he's dead." he stood up. "somebody murdered spock, and it was somebody in this room."

Cinnamon Raisin Bread w/ Cinnamon Swirl

okay, i've made this bread before. but this time i added the swirl of cinnamon and the cinnamon-sugar topping, as maddog would recommend. alas, the swirl is rather loose, but tasty nonetheless. i'm not sure how you keep the swirl tight. as you roll the dough into a loaf shape, you're supposed to seal it as you go, but it's hard to seal against all that cinnamon & sugar. oh well, it's still good :)

Pizza Napoletana

a more traditional, thin-style pizza this time, the pizza napoletana from reinhart's BBA. reinhart suggest making smaller pizzas if you aren't comfortable working with bigger ones. HA! i'm an old pro at pizza-making and can toss the crusts around like the best of 'em, so i opted for bigger ones. um, yeah, about that....this dough was much softer and more fragile than the doughs i'm used to throwing around (which, it must be said, was over 25 years ago now). they came out looking very rustic :) but tasty--especially the crust. it was great! i used pizza sauce in a jar and wasn't happy with that--next time i'll just make my own simple sauce of mostly tomato. with a better sauce, it might be worth making pizza at home. otherwise, it's more of a novelty. there is good pizza to be had at good prices that don't require this much work.

CYA: Gavin & Foxy & Sierra & Henry

NOTE: if you did not jump to this chapter as a result of the Choose Your Adventure story, please go here before reading any further!


foxy & gavin pinched themselves, making sure they weren't asleep. following a couple of "ouches," they looked toward the door.

"that was sierra, right?"

foxy nodded. "yes, and that henry guy." she grabbed cardigan's arm. "let's go see what's going on."

"i'm not sure i want to," cardigan muttered, but went along with her.

foxy knocked on the door. "sierra, what's going on?"

"foxy!" sierra stuck her head out the door. "thank goodness you're here! we're nekkid!"

"i know! i saw! why?"

sierra turned her head to glare at henry. "seems that when you time travel with henry, you always arrive without your clothes."

"i tried to tell you, but you wouldn't give me a chance!" henry remonstrated.

"oh, pish posh!" sierra turned back to her sister. "would you find us some clothes, please?"

foxy rolled her eyes. "okay. stay right here!"

cardigan grinned. "yeah, and don't do anything i wouldn't do!"

sierra raised an elegant finger and slammed the door.

cardigan hmph'd, then he & foxy ran back outside.

"this way!" foxy pointed down a residential street. they ran down, peeking in back yards at the clothes lines.

at the fourth house, foxy shouted "there's something for henry!" she looked both directions. "go get them, gavin!"

cardigan jumped the fence and grabbed a pair of brown pants and white shirt. "come on!"

they ran down to the next block block. "there!" foxy pointed at a black dress hanging on a line behind a pink house.

"no, not that one." cardigan kept running, looking behind three more houses before he jumped the fence again. he came back with a armful of pink ruffles, earning giggles from foxy.

they returned to the university and knocked on sierra & henry's door. "we're back!" foxy called.

"thank burkie you're back!" sierra opened the door and shuddered. "i did NOT say that!"

foxy shoved the bundle of clothing in her hands. "hurry up, sierra!"

the door shut and a couple of minutes later opened again and henry walked out. "thanks, guys. come on, sierra!"

she came out staring daggers at cardigan, looking like a flamingo with acne. "this? THIS is all you could find?!"

cardigan shrugged. "hey, we didn't have a lot of time or options. we took a big chance stealing something for you. what if we had been caught and thrown in jail?"

"enough bickering, guys. let's go!"

they went down the hall, checking each room along the way until they came to a directory informing them that Dr. A. Bell's office is on the 3rd floor. they scampered up the stairs and ran to the room, flinging open the door.

"gaaaah!"

mr. franklin and, presumably, mr. bell yelled at their sudden appearance in the dimly lit room.

"mr. franklin, thank burkie you're all right!" foxy ran forward, then shuddered. "i did NOT say that!"

"you scared the milton out of me, young lady!" mr. franklin exclaimed. "not that i mind, mind you. Paradise Lost wasn't bad, but Paradise Regained was pure swill."

"i'll drink to that!" mr. bell raised an empty glass to lips. "blast! we ran out again!"

"is that a ouija board?" sierra asked, pointing to the table between the two men.

"ah, yes indeed, friend sierra!" mr. franklin smiled. "we decided that since our individual inventions of spectacles and the telephone were great advancements in man's manipulation of sensory perception, our combined talents could triumph in the realm of extrasensory perception!"

"correct!" mr. bell exclaimed. "we were just in the process of contacting the spirit of leonardo da vinci when you walked in. gave me quite a fright, i must say!"

"sorry about that," cardigan apologized. "but i must insist that we take mr. franklin back now. it's been a pleasure meeting you, mr. bell."

"thank you, young sir!" mr. bell held up a hand, his fingers pointing outward in a V. "live long and prosper!"

"so, who are you?" mr. franklin asked henry as they walked out.

"i'm a chrono-impaired time traveler, sir."

"really! i say, may i travel with you then?"

"NO!"

"hmph."


THE END

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Dear Reader,

You have reached the end of your adventure. I hope you enjoyed it! If not, well, you only have yourself to blame because, you know, you chose it yourself. Also, since you--not I--chose this adventure, it did not really take place in the Burkieverse and, therefore, will not have any continuity with the regular Poor Yorick's Pub chapters. Thanks for playing and, if you're in the mood to try another adventure, go back to the beginning and choose a different path!

Tiger Bread

i got this from the Baking Bites blog. she calls it Dutch Crunch Bread, but she says it's also called Tiger Bread. i say if you can call something Tiger Bread, why call it anything else?! tiger bread! her photo, of course, is prettier than mine, and her dutch crumb topping came out looking more spectacular, but i am very, very pleased with this bread. i made sandwich rolls with it, and used it for a roast beef & cheddar sandwich. i will most definitely make this again, perhaps for hamburgers.