"hey, danny. what's on the menu tonight?" gavin cardigan greeted his friend behind the bar as he entered the Pub.
"nachos," replied danny blake, pouring a Bass. "real nachos. the perfect football food."
"i'm ready," gavin indicated the fantasy football magazine in his hand, then walked over to join the others.
linda nulo glared at him. "you're late." then she addressed the others. "as Commissioner, i'd like to welcome you to the annual selection process--AKA the draft--of Poor Yorick's League. the draft order was determined by the order in which burkie introduced our characters. thus, gavin selects first, on down to shakespeare. we will select 16 players each. please announce the name of your team with your first selection. gavin, you're on the clock. go!"
"ahem," gavin cleared his throat, then announced: "for their first pick, Gavin's Gumshoes select Matt Forte, running back, chicago bears."
blake walked over to deliver another platter of nachos and snorted. "homer."
"at least i'm playing. what's your excuse?"
"i own the joint. i can't afford to piss off my customers by destroying their team every week."
"with jay cutler keeping the secondary honest, forte is going to have a HUGE year, mark my words."
linda tapped on the table. "sierra, you're next."
"Sierra's Suitors select Mark Sanchez, quarterback, jets."
marian snickered.
"he's cute," sierra defended her choice.
"whatever," linda said with a shake of her head. "marian?"
"yay! i select Tom Brady, quarterback, new england patriots, for Marian's Chimeras."
"chimeras?"
marian nodded. "in this case, a fierce creature that is part Michigan Wolverine, part California Golden Bear, and part Miami Dolphin."
"i'd hate to wear that mascot uniform," linda muttered. "you're next, Lurker. Lurker?"
"here i am," the black-haired, black-clad Mysterious Lurker emerged from the shadows. "the Lurking Ninjas select running back Beanie Wells, arizona cardinals."
linda looked at her in surprise. "that's a little early for him, isn't it?"
"see, that's the thing about ninjas. they appear out of nowhere."
"i see. i guess. taylor?"
"the transylvania bloodsuckers select san francisco running back Frank Gore," announed vampirish owner taylor young.
"fitting," linda noted. "mr. franklin?"
"ah, yes! the Philadelphia Beavers select quarterback Donovan Mcnabb."
"figures," linda turned to the judge. "your honor?"
"the Hanging Judges select minnesota vikings running back adrian peterson."
"grrrrr," linda grumbled. "i was hoping he'd last. okay, my turn. Nulo's Contenders select atlanta running back Michael Turner."
"good team name," the judge noted approvingly.
"my turn," officer shakalaka stated. "BoomBoom's Boomsquad selects running back LaDainian Tomlinson of the san diego chargers."
"gotcha. shakespeare, you get two picks now to finish up round one and begin round two in reverse order."
the elizabethan dramatist nodded. "with their first pick, Willie's Playaz select the Baltimore Ravens' defense."
"a defense with the first pick?" linda asked incredulously.
"i respect any team named after poetry," shakespeare explained. "my second pick is quarterback Jay Cutler. the man is full of drama."
cardigan glared at the playwright as he scratched out a name on his worksheet.
"okay, guys. let's just post the rest of the results. i doubt burkie's vast readership wants to read about all 160 picks."
"is burkie really drafting 160 players and managing a league for us? the man must truly get a life."
Gavin's Gumshoes
Sierra's Suitors
Marian's Chimeras
Lurking Ninjas
Transylvania Bloodsuckers
Philadelphia Beavers
Hanging Judges
Nulo's Contenders
BoomBoom's Boomsquad
Willie's Playaz
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
CYA: Sierra & Henry Get Started
NOTE: if you did not jump to this chapter as a result of the Choose Your Adventure story, please go here before reading any further!
sierra turned to henry and smiled. "so, how does it work?"
henry loooked embarrassed. "well, you have to understand that--"
she stopped him. "never mind, i don't need to know. just zap us!"
"listen, i really think you--"
"hurry! the others are going to beat us!" she grabbed his hand. "let's go!"
henry sighed, drew her close and they disappeared, leaving two small piles of clothing behind. monte the pub dog barked and wagged his tail. tucker, danny, and shakespeare looked at the clothes, then each other, and then started to guffaw.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
The Nine of Pentacles
"greetings, everybody!" gavin cardigan called out as he entered the Pub.
"gavin," danny blake nodded in acknowledgement, already pouring him a beer. "i'm serving tamarind shrimp tonight. sound good?"
"sounds great, and smells even better," cardigan sniffed the air approvingly.
"and tastes better than it smells," sierra charles added as she walked up behind him. "can you bring more for us too, danny? thanks!"
"hello, mr. franklin. what brings you to the Pub tonight?" cardigan asked the founding father seated at their regular table.
the colonial publisher set down his beer glass with a sigh. "my son is an ungrateful swine who opposes everything i stand for!"
taylor nodded. "yeah, my father and i didn't get along, either. he thought i should be a priest."
"mine wanted me to be a plumber and take over his business," tucker stated, then strummed a chord.
son, put that old guitar away
and cancel all those gigs
plumbing is a real career
although you'll smell like pigs...
"not now, tucker. let's hear about mr. franklin's problem," linda nulo shushed her boyfriend.
"thank you for caring, my dear. i just don't know how to deal with him. his politics are absurd, his principles are misplaced, and his breath is terrible."
"he shouldn't be so melodramatic!" marian elfman declared. "and he should brush his teeth more often."
Mysterious Lurker reached into her bag. "that's good advice for what his son should do, but that doesn't help mr. franklin with what he should do. perhaps i can help with that."
mr. franklin watched with interest as she shook a deck of oversized cards from a cloth bag. "tarot cards? how droll!"
"she's pretty good with those," cardigan admitted as danny delivered a couple of platters of tamarind shrimp to the table. "she helped me solve a case with them."
"you guys just eat and stay quiet while we concentrate over here," the Lurker told the others as she sat at the neighboring table and began to shuffle the deck. "mr. franklin, you sit across from me, close your eyes, and think about your son."
the others devoured their shrimp in silence as they watched the Lurker mix up the cards then hand them over to mr. franklin--to allow his energy to flow into them as well--before taking them back. she paused, closing her eyes briefly, then began to lay out the cards, one at a time, in a 10-card pyramid spread starting with the Ten of Swords at the bottom left position and ending with the Nine of Pentacles at the apex.
"oh, dear. you two really do have problems, don't you?" the Lurker noted with a sympathetic look in her warm, brown eyes.
the nation's first postmaster general nodded. "yes, though i hope it doesn't come to that!" he pointed with concern at the unfortunate figure with 10 swords sticking out of his back.
the Lurker shook her head. "no, i don't think so. in this position, that card has more to do with the beginning of your conflict, not the solution."
he nodded. "the revolution. he was loyal to england. can you believe that?! a bloody loyalist!"
"really? wow, he is an ungrateful bastard, isn't he?" cardigan noted, then apologized. "oh, sorry about that, sir."
"it's all right, friend cardigan. his illegitimate status is well known"
"that would explain the Three of Hearts," the Lurker pointed to the disturbing image of a heart pierced by three swords.
"that card is worthy of a song all by itself!" tucker exclaimed. then set his guitar down when the Lurker darted her fierce green eyes in his direction. "after we've helped mr. franklin, of course."
"now, this is encouraging," the Lurker continued, indicating the middle of the pyramid. "the Hierophant is centered in the spread, representing you."
"the likeness is unflattering. nor am i particularly ecumenical."
"in this context, it means that whatever your disagreements, you have the certainty of your conviction. in the end, you know you're right."
"that's true. and it has been a source of comfort." he drummed his fingers on the table. "will we ever resolve our differences?"
the Lurker paused, then tapped the Nine of Pentacles at the top of the spread. "well, this card indicates that you will find a material solution with deep spiritual meaning. the suit of pentacles represents the material world, but the bird is a symbol of the spiritual world. does that give you any ideas?"
the inventor of the lightening rod drained his beer and nodded. "aye, it surely does¹." he smiled, and kissed her hand. "thank you, my dear. you have given me clarity."
"aw, you're welcome, sir." her blue eyes sparkled at him as she gathered up her cards.
"well done, Lurker." cardigan stated.
tucker picked up his guitar impatiently. "can i play now?"
¹ in his will, ben franklin left nearly none of his wealth to his son william, aside from some property in nova scotia. he claimed that had england won the war, he would not have had any wealth at all.
"gavin," danny blake nodded in acknowledgement, already pouring him a beer. "i'm serving tamarind shrimp tonight. sound good?"
"sounds great, and smells even better," cardigan sniffed the air approvingly.
"and tastes better than it smells," sierra charles added as she walked up behind him. "can you bring more for us too, danny? thanks!"
"hello, mr. franklin. what brings you to the Pub tonight?" cardigan asked the founding father seated at their regular table.
the colonial publisher set down his beer glass with a sigh. "my son is an ungrateful swine who opposes everything i stand for!"
taylor nodded. "yeah, my father and i didn't get along, either. he thought i should be a priest."
"mine wanted me to be a plumber and take over his business," tucker stated, then strummed a chord.
son, put that old guitar away
and cancel all those gigs
plumbing is a real career
although you'll smell like pigs...
"not now, tucker. let's hear about mr. franklin's problem," linda nulo shushed her boyfriend.
"thank you for caring, my dear. i just don't know how to deal with him. his politics are absurd, his principles are misplaced, and his breath is terrible."
"he shouldn't be so melodramatic!" marian elfman declared. "and he should brush his teeth more often."
Mysterious Lurker reached into her bag. "that's good advice for what his son should do, but that doesn't help mr. franklin with what he should do. perhaps i can help with that."
mr. franklin watched with interest as she shook a deck of oversized cards from a cloth bag. "tarot cards? how droll!"
"she's pretty good with those," cardigan admitted as danny delivered a couple of platters of tamarind shrimp to the table. "she helped me solve a case with them."
"you guys just eat and stay quiet while we concentrate over here," the Lurker told the others as she sat at the neighboring table and began to shuffle the deck. "mr. franklin, you sit across from me, close your eyes, and think about your son."
the others devoured their shrimp in silence as they watched the Lurker mix up the cards then hand them over to mr. franklin--to allow his energy to flow into them as well--before taking them back. she paused, closing her eyes briefly, then began to lay out the cards, one at a time, in a 10-card pyramid spread starting with the Ten of Swords at the bottom left position and ending with the Nine of Pentacles at the apex.
"oh, dear. you two really do have problems, don't you?" the Lurker noted with a sympathetic look in her warm, brown eyes.
the nation's first postmaster general nodded. "yes, though i hope it doesn't come to that!" he pointed with concern at the unfortunate figure with 10 swords sticking out of his back.
the Lurker shook her head. "no, i don't think so. in this position, that card has more to do with the beginning of your conflict, not the solution."
he nodded. "the revolution. he was loyal to england. can you believe that?! a bloody loyalist!"
"really? wow, he is an ungrateful bastard, isn't he?" cardigan noted, then apologized. "oh, sorry about that, sir."
"it's all right, friend cardigan. his illegitimate status is well known"
"that would explain the Three of Hearts," the Lurker pointed to the disturbing image of a heart pierced by three swords.
"that card is worthy of a song all by itself!" tucker exclaimed. then set his guitar down when the Lurker darted her fierce green eyes in his direction. "after we've helped mr. franklin, of course."
"now, this is encouraging," the Lurker continued, indicating the middle of the pyramid. "the Hierophant is centered in the spread, representing you."
"the likeness is unflattering. nor am i particularly ecumenical."
"in this context, it means that whatever your disagreements, you have the certainty of your conviction. in the end, you know you're right."
"that's true. and it has been a source of comfort." he drummed his fingers on the table. "will we ever resolve our differences?"
the Lurker paused, then tapped the Nine of Pentacles at the top of the spread. "well, this card indicates that you will find a material solution with deep spiritual meaning. the suit of pentacles represents the material world, but the bird is a symbol of the spiritual world. does that give you any ideas?"
the inventor of the lightening rod drained his beer and nodded. "aye, it surely does¹." he smiled, and kissed her hand. "thank you, my dear. you have given me clarity."
"aw, you're welcome, sir." her blue eyes sparkled at him as she gathered up her cards.
"well done, Lurker." cardigan stated.
tucker picked up his guitar impatiently. "can i play now?"
¹ in his will, ben franklin left nearly none of his wealth to his son william, aside from some property in nova scotia. he claimed that had england won the war, he would not have had any wealth at all.
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