Rough Draft

"hey, danny. what's on the menu tonight?" gavin cardigan greeted his friend behind the bar as he entered the Pub.

"nachos," replied danny blake, pouring a Bass. "real nachos. the perfect football food."

"i'm ready," gavin indicated the fantasy football magazine in his hand, then walked over to join the others.

linda nulo glared at him. "you're late." then she addressed the others. "as Commissioner, i'd like to welcome you to the annual selection process--AKA the draft--of Poor Yorick's League. the draft order was determined by the order in which burkie introduced our characters. thus, gavin selects first, on down to shakespeare. we will select 16 players each. please announce the name of your team with your first selection. gavin, you're on the clock. go!"

"ahem," gavin cleared his throat, then announced: "for their first pick, Gavin's Gumshoes select Matt Forte, running back, chicago bears."

blake walked over to deliver another platter of nachos and snorted. "homer."

"at least i'm playing. what's your excuse?"

"i own the joint. i can't afford to piss off my customers by destroying their team every week."

"with jay cutler keeping the secondary honest, forte is going to have a HUGE year, mark my words."

linda tapped on the table. "sierra, you're next."

"Sierra's Suitors select Mark Sanchez, quarterback, jets."

marian snickered.

"he's cute," sierra defended her choice.

"whatever," linda said with a shake of her head. "marian?"

"yay! i select Tom Brady, quarterback, new england patriots, for Marian's Chimeras."

"chimeras?"

marian nodded. "in this case, a fierce creature that is part Michigan Wolverine, part California Golden Bear, and part Miami Dolphin."

"i'd hate to wear that mascot uniform," linda muttered. "you're next, Lurker. Lurker?"

"here i am," the black-haired, black-clad Mysterious Lurker emerged from the shadows. "the Lurking Ninjas select running back Beanie Wells, arizona cardinals."

linda looked at her in surprise. "that's a little early for him, isn't it?"

"see, that's the thing about ninjas. they appear out of nowhere."

"i see. i guess. taylor?"

"the transylvania bloodsuckers select san francisco running back Frank Gore," announed vampirish owner taylor young.

"fitting," linda noted. "mr. franklin?"

"ah, yes! the Philadelphia Beavers select quarterback Donovan Mcnabb."

"figures," linda turned to the judge. "your honor?"

"the Hanging Judges select minnesota vikings running back adrian peterson."

"grrrrr," linda grumbled. "i was hoping he'd last. okay, my turn. Nulo's Contenders select atlanta running back Michael Turner."

"good team name," the judge noted approvingly.

"my turn," officer shakalaka stated. "BoomBoom's Boomsquad selects running back LaDainian Tomlinson of the san diego chargers."

"gotcha. shakespeare, you get two picks now to finish up round one and begin round two in reverse order."

the elizabethan dramatist nodded. "with their first pick, Willie's Playaz select the Baltimore Ravens' defense."

"a defense with the first pick?" linda asked incredulously.

"i respect any team named after poetry," shakespeare explained. "my second pick is quarterback Jay Cutler. the man is full of drama."

cardigan glared at the playwright as he scratched out a name on his worksheet.

"okay, guys. let's just post the rest of the results. i doubt burkie's vast readership wants to read about all 160 picks."

"is burkie really drafting 160 players and managing a league for us? the man must truly get a life."

Gavin's Gumshoes
Sierra's Suitors
Marian's Chimeras
Lurking Ninjas
Transylvania Bloodsuckers
Philadelphia Beavers
Hanging Judges
Nulo's Contenders
BoomBoom's Boomsquad
Willie's Playaz