The Drought Has Ended

gavin cardigan limped into the pub and hollered out, "set me up with a cold one, danny!"

"welcome back, cardigan!" sierra charles waved.

"here you go, buddy." danny blake handed him a pint of Bass Ale. "how 'bout some lentil salad to go with that?"

cardigan momentarily placed the cold beer glass against his forehead. "perfect, danny. and a hunk of burkie's latest bread, if you've got it." taking a small sip, he trudged his way over to join the others. "what's everyone been up to this summer?"

"sweating," groaned Mysterious Lurker, her bright red hair in a ponytail.

"reading," marian elfman explained, holding up a copy of Ender's Game.

"dancing," taylor young explained as he moved his stool over to make room for gavin, knocking a fork to the floor in the process.

"dancing?"

marian snickered. "he's trying to improve his coordination, so he's taking ballet lessons."

"it's good exercise," taylor insisted, "and improves your concentration."

"tucker's been writing a bunch of new songs, haven't you, hon?" linda nulo smiled over at the gangly guitar player.

tucker grinned and began strumming.

i've been counting down the days
looking forward to the night
when i walk into the pub
to find what's wrong has been set right
burkie left us floundrin'
but he's found his muse again
let's pray he ain't distracted
by the news in michigan
burkie's back,
we're all here!
eat a bite
and drink a beer!
taylor's chomping at the bit,
wonder who's next to be bit?
burkie's back,
burkie's front!
will he pass
or will he punt?
will he kill off the black darter?
will we meet sierra's daughter?

gavin turned to stare at sierra. "you had a daughter?!"

"no! i am not pregnant and never was!" sierra looked indignant. "tucker, don't encourage burkie like that, please!"

danny placed some lentil salad in front of cardigan. "what's happening in michigan that would distract burkie?"

marian looked excited. "maybe we're in michigan! go blue!"

tucker looked sheepish. "uh, no, sorry. it's the only rhyme i could think of to go with 'muse again.'"

"how about 'lose a can?'" offered taylor.

"goose toucan?" marian suggested.

"news of kin? Hugh's caftan? noose a friend?" the Lurker was twisting a lock of her now golden hair around her finger, trying out sounds.

"boozenin'," asserted the newcomer, walking up to join them.

"boozenin'?" gavin looked doubtful.

"yeah, like, to go out drinking & boozen, or boozenin'."

"that's not a word!" marian stomped her foot, glaring at him. "and who are you, anyway?"

"well, 'liquefaction' isn't a word either, but that didn't stop lord byron from using it in a poem. it's called artistic license." he extended his hand. "my name is Geoffrey Pompousass."

"of course it is," gavin said dryly, ignoring the proffered hand and concentrating on his salad. "this stuff is great, danny!"

"actually, liquefaction is a word," sierra pointed out to him, "meaning the act or process of liquefying or making liquid."

"and it was robert herrick, not lord byron, who used it in a poem," marian pointed out. she narrowed her eyes at him and folded her arms, "why are you here, anyway?"

"i'm the new busboy," he said, taking an empty glass and plate off the table, seemingly unfazed by the exposure of his stunning intellectual shortcomings.

the Lurker turn around toward danny, unsure whether to cheer or cry. "what happened to buddy lee, danny? not that i miss the creepy little guy."

danny shook his head. "that actress, lucy liu, came in here one day and they just just hit it off. he left with her and i haven't seen him since. damn shame, too. he was the best employee i ever had."

tucker began strumming again.

you could hold him in your hand
but he could hold his own
when it came to dames
or building homes
from selling jeans
to kicking gnomes
give it up for buddy lee
(give it up for buddy lee)

his plastic eyes
would never blink
he'd stare you down
from the kitchen sink
his head was bald
but his head could think
give it up for buddy lee
(give it up for buddy lee)

all he left behind
was a flannel shirt
hanging in the closet
of his denim yurt
who'd have ever guessed
he was such a flirt?
give it up for buddy lee
(give it up for buddy lee)

Ciabatta Sandwich Rolls

wow, i outdid myself! just look at that! i got this ciabatta recipe from this page and decided to make sandwich rolls with it and, i have to say, they're excellent! i made the semolina version mentioned in the page--since i don't have a metric scale, i used about 2 c. of bread flour and 3/4 c. of semolina. i found an equivalent measurement for the salt which turned out to be a heaping tablespoon--i didn't trust it, and used a heaping teaspoon instead. i think the correction works, 'cause this is some tasty bread! i'm going to use it for my lunch this week. oh, i should mention that i also made texas sheet cake today. no picture of that, but you can find one at the homesick texan's blog here. our recipes are the same except she adds ancho chile powder to hers (i've got to try that) and i use 1 stick of butter and 1/2 c. of butter-flavored shortening (both of our original recipes call for Oleo). her blog is a better read, of course, telling you all about the lore of texas sheet cake. she's right in that it's darn tasty, though!

CYA: The Judge & The ChronoGuard Get Started

NOTE: if you did not jump to this chapter as a result of the Choose Your Adventure story, please go here before reading any further!


the judge checked his PDA, then walked outside and down a back alley as the text message from the ChronoBuard instructed.

"greetings, your honor!"

the judge turned around to find himself face-to-face with benjamin franklin.

"mr. franklin! i see you made it back. congratulations!"

mr. franklin smiled. "thank you, your honor, but i'm not the mr. franklin you're looking from. i'm Agent Franklin of the ChronoGuard."

the judge scowled. "i don't think i like the sound of this."

ChronoGuard Ben sighed. "you see, i really did invent a time-travel device. that made me an honorary member of the ChronoGuard."

"so we don't need to rescue you?"

"no, we should certainly go rescue me. time travel is tricky, my friend. you never know what's going to happen."

"but you do," the judge argued. "you were there. you know whether you need to be rescued or not."

"not exactly true," ChronoGuard Ben shook his head. "you see, every time somebody new finds out about what happened in the past, it changes the dynamic of what really happened. it's kind of like Schrödinger's cat. so, sometimes i need to be rescued, and sometimes not."

the judge nodded. "i was right. i definitely don't like the sound of this."

"just go with the flow," ChronoGuard Ben advised him. "let's go!"


Click here if your head is already hurting

Click here if you like the pain

Hamburger Buns

wow, i don't blog very often.....anyway, i decided to make hamburger buns today. i got this recipe from culinary in the desert, which is one of my favorite food blogs because they do everything: breads, desserts, main dishes, side dishes, vegetarian, meat, fish, recipes from Cooking Light--just good eats, you might say....anyway, as you can see from the photo, i made hot dog buns, too. let me say right now that they do not work as hot dog buns, or at least mine didn't. they're too hard (i left them in a bit too long; guilty as charged). as hamburger buns, though, they were quite good. the real star of the meal, though, was canarygirl's extreme rotini & cheese (who in turn was inspired by this posting from one of my new favorite food blogs Thursday Night Smackdown, which is quite a hoot). yeah, a pretty heavy meal, i know. it's saturday :) i had seen this mac & cheese dish on Tastespotting and knew i had to try it someday. i'm here to tell ya, it's the best i've ever made. the buillion and the saffron really add a nice depth of flavor. i know the biscuit pusher is a mac & cheese fiend, so i recommend you try this one, maddog. (mira, check out all the links in this post. aren't you impressed?)

CYA: Sierra & Henry Run Into Trouble

NOTE: if you did not jump to this chapter as a result of the Choose Your Adventure story, please go here before reading any further!



sierra took the graduation gown from henry and slipped it on. "i look ridiculous."

"don't worry about it. nobody here knows who you are and they'll never see you again."

she groaned and grabbed her tummy. "i'm starving!"

henry nodded. "me, too. that always happens, too."

she took a couple of steps, then had to stop and gather her composure. "henry, i don't think i can go any further without food."

"come on, i'll help you." he took her arm and they walked outside. they walked down a street, henry running off every now and then to look for shoes for each of them, sometimes coming back emptyhanded but sometimes coming back with a prize, until he found the right sized shoes for both of them.

"you're very good at this," sierra smiled, accepting a black dress that was more conventional for city daywear than the college gown she was wearing.

he grinned. "i've had lots of practice. oh, look!"

he pointed at a couple of freshly baked apple pies cooling on somebody's window sill.

"oh, henry! i've got to have that!" they ran toward the house but were suddenly yanked violently back by their collars and thrown to the ground.

"ACK!!!"

two burly policemen were kneeling on top of them, fastening iron cuffs to their wrists.

a third policemen walked in front of them. "so, pie thieves as well as clothes thieves!" he chuckled. "don't worry, we'll give you something to eat in jail. you can even have a choice between something with worms or something with mold!"

the other two men laughed as they pulled the thieves up to their feet.

"no, please!" sierra pleaded. "we're starving, please! we...we were held at gunpoint and...and somebody stole all of our money and our clothing!"

"oh, is that a fact, young lady?" the leader sneered at her.

"yes, yes it is."

"so you're arguing that two wrongs make a right, is that it?"

"no," henry put in quickly. "but three lefts do."

"huh?"

"three lefts," henry explained. "if you go down the street and turn left, then turn left again, then turn left one more time, it will be as if you had turned right in the first place."

the officers looked at each other in confusion. "huh?"

henry pointed down the lane. "see that white horse down there?"

the three men nodded.

"okay. if you walk down to that horse and turn right, you'll go toward the river, correct?"

they nodded.

"well, i'm telling you that if you walk down there and turn left, walk one block and turn left again, then walk one block and turn left one more time, you'll be walking toward the river just as if you'd turn right at the white horse."

"no way!"

"way!"

"i don't believe you!"

"i'll buy you each a beer if i'm wrong," henry egged them on.

"you're on, mister. let's go, boys!"

the three men took off down the lane toward the white horse as sierra shook her head. "how dense can you get!"

henry took her hand. "we need to get out of here. shall we go back to the Pub?"

she nodded. "yes, i think that would be best. somebody can else can rescue mr. franklin."



THE END

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Reader,

You have reached the end of your adventure. I hope you enjoyed it! If not, well, you only have yourself to blame because, you know, you chose it yourself. Also, since you--not I--chose this adventure, it did not really take place in the Burkieverse and, therefore, will not have any continuity with the regular Poor Yorick's Pub chapters. Thanks for playing and, if you're in the mood to try another adventure, go back to the beginning and choose a different path!