100 Postings of Blogs on the Web, 100 Postings of Blogs...

"howdy, y'all!" gavin cardigan hollered out as he entered the pub. "what's for supper tonight, danny?"

"beef tenderloin pot pie," danny blake replied from behind the bar, pouring cardigan a Guinness.

"sounds good, danny. thank you."

blake shakes his hand. "don't thank me; thank maddog & her indulgent fiance, chris. they made it."

cardigan took his stout and walked over to join the others. "hey, maddog. hey, chris. thanks for the grub. what's the occasion?"

chris shrugged. "don't ask us, dude. you think we chose to be here?"

marian said, "we're celebrating burkie's 100th post!"

"there he is!" tucker pointed toward the door as burkie walked in, and strummed his guitar:

there's a twinkle in his eye
that his shades can't hide,
a 5 o'clock shadow
known far and wide,
he's our handsome creator
our host with the most
so let's give it up to burkie
for his hundreth post!

not for the first time, burkie seemed rather embarrassed by his creation's musical, er, gifts. "thanks, tucker. that's enough."

"happy 1ooth posting, burkie!" sierra greeted him.

"thanks, gang. this isn't really necessary, you know, but it's nice to see you all."

"no, thank you, sir." benjamin franklin walked over to shake burkie's hand. "thanks to you and your writings, i have discovered the most fascinating things!"

"oh, er, thank you mr. franklin," burkie stammered. "but that's not important. the reason i'm glad i'm that you're all here is that i want your advice about what i should blog about next year."

"you're abandoning us?" taylor dropped his fork.

"good!" judge st. bishop stated. "your cavalier disregard for historical accuracy has put us all into jeapardy!"

"that's not fair, burkie!" marian stomped her food, making a face.

"guess i'll never get a date now," cardigan muttered.

burkie sighed. "i'm not talking about you guys. i'll still write about you from time to time. i mean, 2008 was the Year of Bread for me; what is 2009 going the be the Year of?"

"the Year of Tattoos," Mysterious Lurker proposed. "you could get a new tattoo on your body every week and post a picture of it here." she showed off the mickey mouse tattoo on her arm.

"ew, i don't want to see burkie's tattooed body," sierra shuddered. "how about the Year of Bacon? you could do a year's worth of bacon recipes."

"that's not bad," burkie admitted, silently agreeing that even he didn't want to see pictures of his tattooed body. "but maybe not the healthiest idea. my cholesterol is a little high, you know."

"then you should do the Year of Fish," marian declared. "it's good for you."

"but kind of expensive," maddog pointed out. "and most of the people in your house don't eat fish."

"true," burkie frowned. "bread is pretty universally liked, except for the occasional blue cheese bread."

"the Year of Blood," taylor suggested. "you know, blood soup, blood sausage, blood cheese, fried blood, baked--"

"no!"

"i kind of like what thursday night countdown does," burkie mused. "every thursday night, she prepares a new recipe that she's never made from one of her growing pile of cookbooks. i, too, have a pile of cookbooks, and that would make sure i use them."

"pretty unoriginal," cardigan grunted. "can't you do better than that?"

"how about texas foods?" the judge suggested. "you know about that."

"yeah, but the homesick texan has that angle already."

"how about pizza?" blake asked. "that way, you could continue to work with yeast, but experience with different types of dough, baked or grill, and the toppings are limitless."

"plus, everyone in your house likes pizza," sierra noted.

"and it has cheese," marian the notorious cheese ho pointed out.

"yeah, but i don't know," burkie was doubtful. "i mean, i love pizza, but culinary in the desert does pizza every friday night."

"well, hell. why ask us for help when all you're going to do is shoot down everything we say? especially when you're the one saying it anyway, just using us to do it?" cardigan was clearly annoyed.

burkie scowled. "that hurts my head to think about what you just said. i count on you guys to help me out and inspire me. it's still october, so i don't have to figure this out tonight. i like all of your ideas...except yours, taylor. you're not a real vampire, remember? and it doesn't have to be just one thing, like bread was. so think about it and let me know. let's recap some of your ideas and some others i've had:

bacon
fish
texas food
pizza
never-before-made recipes from my growing pile of cookbooks
never-before-made recipes from my growing list of recipes bookmarked from other blogs
appetizers/tapas/small plates
vegetarian
canning/jarring/freezing/pickling
stocks & classic sauces
homemade pasta
indian food
vietnamese food

"that's it?!" cardigan was beyond irritated. "that's all this 100th blog celebration is about? your silly blog ideas? don't drag us into your esoteric thinking process. don't write about us if you're not going to write about us."

Special Assistant Hepzibah looked up from her notebook and nodded. "he's right, you know. you're being awfully selfish. they deserve better."

cardigan was surprised to have found an ally in burkie's industrious special assistant. "thanks, hep."

s.a. hepzibah stared daggers at him. "don't call me 'hep.'"

burkie looked abashed.

"hey, i want to look abashed!" marian pouted.

"do you even know what abashed means?" sierra asked. "i don't. and no, burkie, i don't need to take your class!"

"all right, guys. i'm sorry, you're right. next time, it's all about you, okay? in fact, we'll have a party."

"can i bring a date?"

"will there be a murder?"

"will it be a halloween party?"

"how many do i have to cook for?"

"forsooth, how many dirty dishes will i have to wash?"

"is that the correct use of forsooth?"

"surely you're not questioning my use of the word forsooth?!"

"i am, and don't call me shirley."

"i didn't call you shirley, i said surely. are you questioning my use of surely, now?"

"don't get your knickers in a twist, shakespeare, it's just a joke."

"these are not knickers, you lout, they're tights."

"knickers is such a cool word. i need to write a song about knickers."

marian snickered at the word knickers.

shakespeare and somebody else continued to bicker over knickers.

danny was considering new furniture for the Pub. perhaps wicker?

Mysterious Lurker revealed that her mickey mouse tattoo was, in fact, a sticker.

the lights began to flicker.

cardigan needed more liqour.

Walnut-Blue Cheese Sourdough Bread

when is it blue cheese and when is it bleu cheese? i suppose i could look it up--i am on the internet, after all--no, i don't see a quick answer. i don't guess it matters. this recipe comes from reinhart's BBA. in his section on sourdough breads, he claims this particular version is his favorite variation of sourdough bread. it seemed a bit unusual to me, but i decided to try it. since i'm the only one in the house who would eat such a bread, i made a smaller loaf for me and a larger one to take in to work tomorrow. i have to say i'm quite happy with this bread; peter reinhart was right (he isn't always, though. i've had a few BBA experiences that i wasn't happy with, and i'd rather blame him than me). it's a lovely color (though the crust got a little dark as i waited for the crumb to finish baking) and has good texture and taste. i had a version of a ploughman's lunch for supper tonight with this bread, some apple slices, pickles, and a porter. i hope my buddies at work like it. it's a bread that's best used in that fashion, i think, rather than as an accompaniment to a meal or as a vehicle for sandwiches or spreads. it should be the main star of a ploughman's lunch, or a part of an appetizer platter or just served with beer or wine as a snack.

CYA: The Guard & The ChronoGuard Nip It In The Bud

NOTE: if you did not jump to this chapter as a result of the Choose Your Adventure story, please go here before reading any further!


ChronoGuard Ben looked at the judge. "are you ready?"

the judge nodded. "okay, let's get this over with."

ChronoGuard Ben gave a cheshire cat smile as he & the judge faded out of modern day san francisco and reappear in an unexpected setting.

the judge looked around, startled. "where are we? when are we?"

"philadelphia, 1792."

"i thought we were going to boston, 1876," the judge declared. "why are we here?"

"i thought it would be easier to convince me not to go in the first place, rather than try to fix things after i already get there."

"that's logical," the judge admitted. "to the extent that that word can be applied to any part of this story."

"that's one that that," ChronoGuard Ben warned him. "given the brevity of this story, the Council of Genres will be closely monitoring our discourse to ensure that we do not employ another such syntactically confusing construction."

"roger."

"yes?" a man stepped out of a doorway to meet them.

"ah, roger!" ChronoGuard Ben greeted the newcomer. "your honor, this is my apprentice, roger."

"the one you wanted to set sierra up with?"

ChronoGuard Ben nodded. "the same. what do you think? oh, and do be careful with your dialogue, sir. you just ended a sentence with not one but two prepositions! the Council of Genres will not be pleased."

the judge shook his head as he examined roger. "no. see how his left eye is set fractionally higher on the face than his right eye? she'd never go for that."

"hmmm, right you are," ChronoGuard Ben agreed. "now, roger. am i in the workshop at the moment?"

"no, sir. you're out here in the alley."

"good man. why don't you go out and get us some cheesesteak subs?"

"pat's or geno's?"

ChronoGuard Ben said "pat's" and the judge said "geno's" simultaneously.

roger shrugged and walked off down the street.

"let's go."

the walked inside and walked to a room in the back. ChronoGuard Ben opened a door and they found colonial ben tinkering at a work bench.

"there you are!"

colonial ben looked up and said, "among other places, it seems. so, does it work?"

ChronoGuard Ben nodded. "yes. so well, that i've become an honorary member of the ChronoGuard!"

"the ChronoGuard?"

"it's sort of a time-enforcement agency. you can't imagine how complex and fragile time really is. it requires constant monitoring."

"is that why you're here?"

"yes. we think it's best for you to know that your invention works, but not to actually use it."

colonial ben nodded. "i can accept that."

"do you use the device to visit us in the Pub?" the judge asked.

the bens shook their heads. "no. that's entirely burkie's doing."

the judge felt a vein throb in his forehead as he watched the bens speaking in stereo. "can we go now?"

"what about our cheesesteaks?"

"what cheesesteaks?" colonial ben asked.

"we sent roger," ChronoGuard Ben told him.

"oh, i can stay long enough for my cheesesteak," the judge sat in a chair. "i don't want it to go to waste."

"did you get one for me?"

"er...so, what other inventions are you working on?"

"hmph."


THE END
--------------------------------------------------------------------


Dear Reader,


You have reached the end of your adventure. I hope you enjoyed it! If not, well, you only have yourself to blame because, you know, you chose it yourself. Also, since you--not I--chose this adventure, it did not really take place in the Burkieverse and, therefore, will not have any continuity with the regular Poor Yorick's Pub chapters. Thanks for playing and, if you're in the mood to try another adventure, go back to the beginning and choose a different path!

No-Knead Sourdough Bread

on the heels of the very successful NY Times No-Knead Bread last week, i wanted to try a sourdough version. very simple. 1/4 c. sourdough starter, 1 1/2 c. warm water, 3 c. flour, 1 1/4 tsp. salt. stir. proceed as with previous recipe. you could actually smell the sourdoughness of it while baking. i cut into it almost immediately after pulling it out of the oven; i was anxious. if it had waited a bit longer, the nice holes in the crumb would've probably been more developed. don't care. tasted great :)

Ugly Is in the Eye of the Beholder

"howdy, everyone!" cardigan greeted the regulars as he walked into the Pub. "what's on the menu tonight, danny boy?"

"the ugly american," danny replied as he poured a beer.

"what the hell is that?"

"goodness on a plate," sierra charles told him as she approached the bar and ordered another one.

cardigan took his place at the table and noted the empty plates and the copious amount of finger-licking taking place. "must be good. but what is it, exactly?"

"it's a peanut butter, fig jam, and banana grilled cheese sandwich," taylor informed him.

cardigan felt slightly queasy. "you're not serious."

"we're totally serious, gavin," marian informed him. "i don't even like peanut butter, and i loved it."

"why fig jam? shouldn't it be concord grape? fig doesn't sound very american to me. that would be the ugly french," caridgan noted.

"that's true," marian admitted. "and they'd probably use nutella instead of peanut butter, and gruyere instead of american cheese, of course. and apple instead of banana."

"hmmm, as much as i'd hate to give the french any credit, that actually sounds a lot more tasty than the ugly american. but, i guess you couldn't call it ugly, then."

"i was ambassador to france and i can tell you that their reputation for cooking is over-rated," benjamin franklin noted as he walked into the Pub. "i'm quite intrigued by this ugly american. please prepare one for me, barman!"

Mysterious Lurker pulled another stool over to their table with a bright smile, her dark brown hair turning to a soft, golden sunny shade. "it's good to see you, mr. franklin. do you like peanut butter?"

"i've never had it before, miss. i believe it was invented here long after my time." he chuckled.

as if on cue, judge st. bishop stormed into the Pub. "damnit, burkie! you must stop tainting benjamin franklin like this! you have no idea of the dangers of tampering with our history!" he looks at the platter of ugly americans that danny is carrying over to the table, wrinkling his nose. "that looks disgusting."

benjamin franklin took a bite out of one almost immediately, his face breaking out with a look of bliss. "exquisite. you know, tommy jefferson grew peanuts all over the place, making soups and all manner of revolting things with them. why couldn't he have come up with peanut butter? i can't believe you people consider him a genius. a fop, that's what he was."

cardigan bit into his ugly american with trepidation, chewing slowly, then more eagerly. "holy shit, this is good!"

sierra nodded eagerly, munching another one. "i wonder how many other ugly sandwiches we can come up with? the ugly hawaiian would probably have spam, pineapple, and macadamia butter, right?"

caridgan grimaced, "yeah, i suppose. how about an ugly mexican? jalepeno jelly, mexican chocolate, papaya, and queso chihuahua."

the Lurker shuddered. "that sounds like cheese made from chihuahuas."

"i wonder what formaggio di corgi would taste like?" marian snickered.

"corgi cheese?" sierra laughed. "that could go on the ugly italian with some hazlenut butter, cherry preserves, and salami."

benjamin franklin looked puzzled over this exchange, then concluded that it must be an inside joke. "may i play? i propose the ugly greek: olive paste, sardines, lemon marmalade, and feta cheese."

"not bad," the judge nodded. "but i could almost imagine myself eating that." he popped the last bite of his ugly american into his mouth with relish. "unlike this thing."

mr. franklin looked miffed. "oh, indeed? and what can you come up with, magistrate?"

"i would say the ugly pole: creamed herring and anything else."

"good point," mr. franklin conceded.

Public Service Announcement

Multigrain Sourdough Pancakes

good morning! since the kids like chocolate chip pancakes (i can't type that without a shudder), i thought i use some more of my chocolate-covered sunflower seeds and throw them into some sourdough pancakes and see how they liked them. i didn't use a recipe for these. i used sourdough starter, egg, oil, salt, sugar, baking soda & powder, all-purpose flour, whole wheat flour, wheat bran, and corn meal, adding enough milk to get the batter to the consistently that i like (some ground pecans or walnuts or even almonds would've been nice, too, but i didn't have any). anyway, they were fine. i've had better pancakes, but i've had worse, and i like the multigrain texture. i even tried one with the chocolate sunflower seeds for the sake of this blog and you, dear readers. this is a FAR better application for the seeds than the pretzels were. the crunch of the seeds came through nicely adding to the nice texture of the pancakes, and the chocolate wasn't as noticeable (thank buddha). still, i'd rather not have the chocolate in it at all, but would welcome normal sunflower seeds in my multigrain pancakes. yeppers.

Sweet Potato-5 Spice Dinner Rolls

more experimentation! i saw these sweet potato rolls and knew i wanted to make 'em. but once i started makaing them and reading the recipe, i realized they were really, really sweet & flavored with cinnamon & nutmeg, like a cinnamon roll. now, i have nothing against such things; i quite like 'em. but....not what i was going for in a dinner roll. so, i started thinking of ways i could make them a little more savory instead. into the cupboard i go....sage? hmmmm, no. coriander? no, i've used that before. chinese 5 spice? oh, yeah. perfect. so, i only used 1/4 c. of sugar instead of 1/2 (!) and even then i thought it might be too much, and used, oh, a heaping 1/4 tsp. of chinese 5 spice powder instead of the cinnamon & nutmeg. a little of that stuff goes a long way, and i didn't want to overpower the rolls and scare the others away if they tasted too anise-y or licorice-y. perfect. i mean, these were inspired! and it justifies having the 5 spice in my pantry. i really never use it. now, i will. if you have any 5 spice lying around, i suggest you try using it with sweet potato applications. it's a nice combination. (or the winter squashes that are starting to appear in the market now. butternut squash soup w/ 5 spice? roasted acorn squash with maple & 5 spice? yeah, that would work.)

Sourdough Pretzels (topped with chocolate-covered sunflower seeds)

it's a day of experimentation. i saw chocolate-covered sunflower seeds at whole foods and remembered peabody making cookies with them once, so i thought i'd buy some and play around with them. i was planning to make sourdough pretzels, so i thought "how about topping the pretzels with some of these?" the pretzels have a mix of all-purpose and whole wheat flour, so i thought the sunflower seed would compliment it nicely, and hoped that the chocolate (and nice autumn-colored candy coating) would be diminished by the flavors of the sourdough, whole wheat flour, and sunflower seeds since i am generally not a fan of chocolate breads. alas, it was not. fortunately for me (and the other adults), i only topped half of them with the seeds; the others got a simple sprinkling of salt. as far as the pretzels themselves are concerned, they were quite good, with the sourdough evident but not overpowering. i tinkered with the recipe some, substituting 1 Tbsp. of the sugar with 1 Tbsp. of malted barley syrup (any excuse to use that stuff!) and retarded the dough in the fridge over night after the initial rise, then took it out and let it sit at room temp again for about 5 hours before shaping them into pretzels. the kids liked the chocolate sunflower seed-topped pretzels, though, so it wasn't a total loss. tomorrow, i'm gonna try 'em in sourdough waffles. the kids like chocolate chip pancakes (yuck), so they should like these. i think peabody's cookies may be the best application for these pretty things, though.

The NY Times No-Knead Bread

i printed this recipe off months and months ago (and only the english language can put the words "knead" and "bread" together and not have them rhyme), but only got around to making it this weekend. it's quite popular in the food-blogging world. it's "no-knead," so it's easy, but it still takes two days. you simply stir flour, salt, yeast, and water together in a bowl, then let it sit out overnight. the next day, you basically take it out of the bowl, flour it up, and throw it on a floured towel. then dump it into a hot skillet a couple of hours later and bake it. easy. but how's it taste? it's really good. nice color, as you can see. good crispy crust, the crumb soft, dense, full of holes. i shouldn't have waited so long! there is a new 1-day version of this now, so maybe i'll try that soon. this one is definitely worth repeating, though it is a really slack and wet dough at every stage, kind of like ciabatta. it can make a mess if you're not careful.

For Better or Verse

gavin cardigan strode into Poor Yorick's Pub, humming the "Eyes of Texas."

"enjoy the game yesterday, gavin?" danny blake asked as he poured an ale.

"immensely!" cardigan grinned, taking the beer. "what're we eating today?"

"tamales."

caridgan raised his eyes heavenward and said a silent prayer of thanks to the gods. "i'm not sure this weekend can get any better."

"hi, gavin!" sierra's sister, foxy, called out to him, waving him toward their table.

cardigan's eyes looked upward again briefly before walking over to join the others. "hi, foxy. what brings you to town?"

"oh, burkie and i needed to do some work on our book."

"oh," cardigan muttered, his mood starting to deflate. "burkie's here?"

"no, he left already," sierra informed him. "you can go back to being happy."

"what've you got against burkie, gavin?" foxy turned to him, surprised. "he is our handsome creator, after all."

marian snickered. "gavin hasn't had a date since burkie started this blog."

cardigan glared. "can't we talk about something besides burkie?"

"the Lurker hasn't had a date either," taylor pointed out.

"says who?" danny queried as he dropped off a plate of steaming tamales, winking at the blushing Lurker.

"well, i'd rather not have a date than go out with the guys that burkie has set me up with," sierra shuddered.

foxy giggled. "sierra was just telling us about last night's fiasco."

"oh, really?" cadigan had just bit into a tamale, signaling his appreciation to danny. "who was he?"

"one of my agent's friends, also an agent. he's actually quite good-looking and rather charming. at least, at first." she takes one of cardigan's tamales, pulls the husk off, and takes a bite.

cardigan moves his plate out of her reach with a look of irritation. "so, what's the problem?"

"he likes the muppets."

"what's wrong with the muppets?" cardigan looked surprised. "i like 'em, too. especially cookie monster."

"i like the count," taylor noted.

"tattooey rat is my favorite," Mysterious Lurker stated, a rat tattoo appearing on her leg.

tucker strummed his guitar. "i like billy idle."

I heard the letter L
let out a luh-luh-luh...

"that's not a muppet," marian made a face.

"is, too," tucker retorted. "check this out."

"oh," marian blinked. "sorry, tucker. hey, how come miss piggy is the only female muppet?"

"and why is smurfette the only female smurf?" foxy wondered.

"actually, there were three female smurfs," judge st. bishop walked in to educate them on all things smurfy. "smurfette, sassette, and nanny smurf." he picked up one of cardigan's tamales and started chomping. "say, these are good! danny, more tamales over here, okay?"

"and i think there are other female muppets, too, like the guitar player in dr. teeth's band," cardigan noted. "but tell us about your date, charles. what was wrong with him?"

sierra looked at them all with a look of concern. "you guys know much more about muppets and smurfs than i'm comfortable with," she stated. "anyway, he kept imitating different muppets. after he said 'hello,' i don't think he used his own voice the rest of the night. it was always beaker or the swedish chef or those old guys."

"i love those old guys," danny acknowledged as he dropped off another plate of tamales.

cardigan was laughing along with the others at sierra's woes, then started scowling again. "still, at least you've had a date."

william shakespeare came over to gather the empty mugs and plates. "perhaps, sir, you should take matters into your own hands."

cardigan looked at the bard and nodded. "okay, mr. shakespeare. what do you suggest?"

shakespeare nodded toward tucker. "maestro!"

tucker strummed a chord and looked back at shakespeare, who began to sing:

"brush up your shakespeare!
start quoting me now.
brush up your shakespeare!
and the women you will wow."

tucker followed on his heels:

"just declaim a few lines from Othella,
and they'll think you're a hell of a fella!"

marian joined in:

"if your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er
tell her what Tony told Cleopatterer!"

followed by the judge:

"if she fights when her clothes you are mussing,
what are clothes? Much Ado About Nussing!"

the judge, marian, and taylor linked arms and sang along:

"brush up your Shakespeare,
and they'll all kow-tow!"

cardigan was dumbfounded, his jaw hanging open, as foxy took up the next verse:

"with the wife of the British ambessida
try a crack out of Troilus and Cressida!
if she says she won't buy it or tike it
make her tike it, what's more As You Like It!"

then sierra joined her:

"if she says your behavior is heinous
kick her right in the Coriolanus
brush up your shakespeare
and they'll all kow-tow!"

Mysterious Lurker stood up beside danny:

"if you can't be a ham and do Hamlet,
they will not give a damn or a damlet!
just recite an occasional sonnet
and your lap'll have honey upon it!"

to cardigan's horror, danny piped up as well:

"when your baby is pleading for pleasure,
let her sample your Measure for Measure!
brush up your Shakespeare,
and they'll all kow-tow!"

cardigan put his head down on the table. shakespeare patted him on the back. "Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows," he noted.

cardigan placed his hands over his ears.

(Acknowledgement: special thanks to cole porter for the lyrics above. i'd love to take credit but, alas! i cannot.)

Sourdough Croissants

huh huh huh!!! ze french, zey know bread. now i'll be the first to admit, these are not very sourdough-y as there is only 1/2 cup of starter and it's spiked with yeast. but if you eat one and want to eat another one right away, who cares?! and i did want to. okay, and i did eat another one. they're buttery and flaky and buttery and light yet buttery and...well, they're worth the effort. and they aren't very difficult at all. and i need to make them more often 'cause i need practice shaping them. those three above? they turned out best (and i drove them over to maddog & chris so they could try 'em, since they're Sir Toby's surrogate parents). others partially unrolled, completely unrolled...i need practice, man! and, you may notice that they seem a little flat at the top...that's because they were getting browner more quickly on the bottom, so i turned them over for a bit before they were done so i didn't wind up with cajun croissants. yep....i need to practice :)

Texas 45, Oklahoma 35

The eyes of Texas are upon you,
All the live long day.
The eyes of Texas are upon you,
You cannot get away.
Do not think you can escape them,
At night, or early in the morn'.
The eyes of Texas are upon you,
'Till Gabriel blows his horn!

Sourdough Blueberry Muffins

following on the heels of the very successful sourdough english muffins, i decided to make these blueberry muffins using the cup of starter i had to take out to feed my starter (which i've yet to name. many people do name their starters, which is a natural thing to do since it is a living thing and requires regular feeding and maintenance. all the names i've seen so far are male names--Herman, Joe, George, Ebeneezer--but i don't know why that is....perhaps because they are rather stinky....at any rate, i'm going to give some thought to this weighty issue today and the next time you read this blog, dear reader, you will see a proper name for my starter. i know it must've been weighing on your mind). i liked the sound of this--using some starter instead of throwing it away, blueberry muffins, whole wheat, not very sweet. and what have we learned? just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. these weren't terrible (some in the house would disagree with me here), but they certainly weren't very good, either. my blueberries didn't taste very sweet themselves, for one thing, so i opted for the optional 1/2 cup of sugar instead of 1/4 cup. didn't help. ah, well. still very happy with....Toby. yep, Sir Toby, to be exact. this is a heavily shakespearean blog as you know, and sourdough starter is indeed rather beer-y smelling, so why not name my starter after the aristrocratic swill Sir Toby Belch from Twelfth Night? (who also influenced the popular toby jug) all hail Sir Toby, and may his next adventure be much more successful than this one!

Sourdough English Muffins

i'm really enjoying the sourdough starter (thanks chris!). it's easier to make stuff mid-week with sourdough than with yeast, i think. i can do a little bit one night, refrigerate or leave out, shape the next night, refrigerate, and bake the next and not use up a lot of time any of those nights. at least, that's what i did with the english muffins. i played fast & loose with the recipe, and i think that sourdough is much more forgiving to experiment with than yeast breads are. anyway, i got this recipe from the King Arthur Flour website (whence came the starter). put the dough together tuesday night, refrigerated; shaped into muffin rounds wednesday night (refrigerated); woke up early thrusday morning to cook on the electric griddle and bring some to work. and they were really good. i thought so, anyway, and since several people came back for seconds, i guess others agreed. not overly sour, but distinctly sourdough. i substituted one cup of whole wheat bread flour for one of the 6 cups of all-purpose flour i added to the starter (though the recipe calls for 7-8 cups!). the goofy directions have you flipping after 2 minutes on each side, then again after 6 minutes each side, and after 6 each side again, then 4 each...i stopped after the second 6 minutes, and they were perfect. i'll definitely be doing this again.

CYA: Gavin & Foxy Go Their Own Way

NOTE: if you did not jump to this chapter as a result of the Choose Your Adventure story, please go here before reading any further!



gavin shook his head. "no, we still need to find mr. franklin--" he glanced at ChronoGuard Ben and added, "the other mr. franklin. you guys go that way; we'll go this way."

they wished each other luck, then foxy & cardigan walked down the corridor to the left.

they opened a door at the end of a corridor and entered a room, hearing the door click shut behind them. they were in an enormous room and saw a chair of gigantic proportions before them and, sitting in the chair, an actual giant.

"let's play a guessing game," said the giant in a booming voice, placing before them two giant-sized shot glasses that came up to their knees. one of the glasses held a pine green liquid with a frothy foam head while the other contained what looked like a strawberry milkshake.

"one is poison, and one is not," said the giant. "guess right and i'll take you into Fairyland."

foxy's eyes went wide. "gavin!" she hissed. "this is the giant's drink game from Ender's Game! it's rigged; no matter which one we choose, we're going to die!"

cardigan nodded grimly. "i know. i read that book, too. as i recall, ender finally beat the game by climbing up onto the giant's face and clawing out his eyes."

"you're right," foxy agreed, and took a deep breath. "you take the left eye, and i'll take the right eye. okay?"

"okay," cardigan took his own deep breath. "ready...set...GO!"

they ran up the giant's clothing, scrambling toward his face. the giant hmph'd and grabbed them both, holding their struggling bodies up in his hands.

"i'm not falling for that one again!" with that, he turned them upside down and lowered them each into one of the shot glasses.

cardigan was dunked into what looked like a strawberry milkshake, but was in fact a highly corrosive substance that started to eat away his flesh upon contact, and even made his bones dissolve like aspirin. it was a relatively quick, though still horrid, death.

foxy did not fair any better; in fact, many would say that she had it far worse. as she was plunged into the foul-smelling foamy green liquid, the bottom of the glass disappeared and she continued to simply fall, tumbling head-over-heels through a foul-smelling emptiness that went on forever. her body, in fact, is still falling to this day even though she perished long ago from lack of food & water. man, that sucks.


THE END
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Reader,

You have reached the end of your adventure. I hope you enjoyed it! If not, well, you only have yourself to blame because, you know, you chose it yourself. Also, since you--not I--chose this adventure, it did not really take place in the Burkieverse and, therefore, will not have any continuity with this regular Poor Yorick's Pub chapters. Thanks for playing and, if you're in the mood to try another adventure, go back to the beginning and choose a different path!

Sourdough Bread

actually, it was supposed to be sourdough bread bowls, but i didn't make them large enough. oops. i thought the dough was supposed to double in size after i shaped them, but....yeah, it was the recipe's fault. so, they're just small sourdough loaves, or...large dourdough rolls. yeah.....anyway, it's football day so i decided to use the crockpot to make a beef stew from Not Your Mother's Slow Cooker Cookbook. the recipe says to cook it on high for 5-6 hours, or low for 8-9 hours. i cooked it on low for 9 hours. the potatoes were underdone. even the onion was still crisp after 9 hours! the brothy part was fabulous, the meat a little tough. so, either the recipe was waaaaay off on the time, or my crockpot is on the fritz. i'll try something else next week and see what happend. the bread, though, was very good! and the bread-sopping provided by the stew was excellent :)

Sourdough Waffles

a huge thank you to maddog and, especially, her indulgent boyfriend for ordering sourdough starter from KAF and getting more than they expected, which they graciously shared with me after my failed attempt to develop my own starter (i'll spare you the humiliating details). and, a big thanks to them for mentioning this waffle recipe to me. the nice thing about it is that it lets you use that 1 cup of starter you would throw out when feeding it. well, that's one nice thing about it. the other nice thing is that they're darn tasty. then one thing you have to be wary of is that they don't stay crisp for very long at all, so i'd advise you to eat each one as soon as it comes off the iron.