Chocolate & Peanut Butter Ganache Tart

with peanut brittle garnish, no less! this cheap cookbook recipe comes from Charlie Palmer's Practical Guide to the New American Kitchen. this book was cheaper for me than most because it was FREE, thanks to my accidently winning a contest from fabulous food blogger michelle at Thursday Night Smackdown. this is one of those recipes that's actually three recipes, but i had time to kill today and i wanted to try it. since you can't see it, i'll tell you that the peanut butter is mixed in with the chocolate ganache, which is rich and smooth and contains both dark & milk chocolate along with the peanut butter, cream, sugar, and butter. the peanut brittle is really good, and the recipe makes a lot more than you need for topping this tart, so a big thumbs up for that :) the only disappointment in this recipe really is the crust for the tart. it's kind of tough and...just doesn't add anything. i'm sure it's the recipe and not the execution. i'm certain of it! overall, it's an impressive dessert that is actually pretty darn easy to make, despite being three separate recipes thrown together. if you have a tried & true tart pastry, though, i would go with that rather than the one in this book.

Medallica

"good evening, everybody!" gavin cardigan entered the Pub, then stopped and inhaled deeply and with satisfaction. "my god, man! what is that incredible aroma?!"

"cripsy braised chicken with olives, lemon, and fennel," danny blake replied from behind the bar.

"cripsy?" cardigan grinned as he accepted a beer.

danny scowled. "damn burkie and his typos!"

cardigan walked over to join the regulars. "yo."

"shush, gavin!" marian shushed him.

he noted that everyone was gathered around marian's laptop, so he stood next to sierra charles to look over her shoulder. "you're watching the olympics?"

sierra nodded. "yup. since danny won't put a TV in the Pub, we have to watch on marian's laptop."

"what the hell is that?" he saw about 47 ice skaters on the rink, skating chaotic laps and sometimes pushing another skater.

"speed skating relays."

"that's just ridiculous."

"wait until you see the biathlon."

"what's that?"

"cross-country skiing, then shooting a rifle."

"that's a sport?"

"they should have to shoot rifles after skiing moguls instead of cross-country. now THAT would be challenging!"

"why do speed skaters get to contend for about 5 different medals but figure skaters only get a shot at one? that's what people really tune in to see. it pays the bills for all the other sports!"

"it would be great to watch the figure skating on a big wide-screen HD TV," Mysterious Lurker glared at danny as he delivered cardigan's dinner.

"that would attract shirtless buffoons to come in here with 'U.S.A. #1' painted on their substantial bellies," danny replied. "no thank you."

the Lurker blushed as the blue "U.S.A. #1" tattoo on her arm quickly faded away.

"the summer olympics have a pentathlon and a decathlon, not to mention a heptathlon for women. why do the winter games only have a biathlon?"

"wimps."

"they should have to luge, then ski the giant slalom, followed by a hockey shootout competition, and then maybe snow shoveling."

"why isn't dog sledding in the winter olympics?"

"i think that in curling, they should have to slide a mug full of beer down the ice instead of a big rock. then danny could enter."

"competitive ice climbing would be cool."

"i would like to see synchronized snowboarding half-pipe."

"why isn't burkie labeling who is saying what? i can't follow this."

"perhaps blogging while watching the olympics should be an olympic sport. it certainly seems to be challenging burkie."

"how about ice fishing?"

"no!"

"hmph."

CYA: Sierra & Henry, No Clothes Yet No Fair

NOTE: if you did not jump to this chapter as a result of the Choose Your Adventure story, please go here before reading any further!



sierra and henry opened the door of dr. bell's office and saw mr. franklin seated at a table with presumably, dr. bell, and there was a ouija board on the table between them.

before sierra could call out to them, though, henry muttered "damn" and they suddenly whooshed! back to Poor Yorick's Pub. nekkid.

sierra shrieked and reached down to pick up her original clothes from the floor and held them up in front of her. "turn around!"

danny, tucker, shakespeare, and monte politely turned their backs as she & henry hurriedly clothed themselves.

"why did you do that?" she demanded of henry. "we found them!"

"i have no control over it," henry told her. "i was surprised things were working out as well as they were, to tell you the truth. i've never had that much control over it before. maybe you're the key."

"i am NOT doing that again. ever! goodbye, mr. detamble!"

henry sighed. "goodbye, miss charles. it was a pleasure."

"hmph."



THE END

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Dear Reader,

You have reached the end of your adventure. I hope you enjoyed it! If not, well, you only have yourself to blame because, you know, you chose it yourself. Also, since you--not I--chose this adventure, it did not really take place in the Burkieverse and, therefore, will not have any continuity with the regular Poor Yorick's Pub chapters. Thanks for playing and, if you're in the mood to try another adventure, go back to the beginning and choose a different path!

Creamy Cauliflower Soup

two of my favorite food bloggers featured cauliflower this week, so i decided to jump on the bandwagon. while jen made roasted cauliflower and deb made cauliflower & caramelized onion tart, i decided to make this creamy cauliflower soup from barbara kafka's Vegetable Love, a $35 dollar book that i scored for $9.99. this is a good recipe to make if you like cauliflower but others in your house don't, because there is just as much potato as there is cauliflower in this recipe and, with the help of some onion, it pretty much cancels out the cauliflower flavor. everything is pureed after it's cooked in stock, and then stirred back into the stock along with some cream. fortunately for me, i like cauliflower and i decided to hold a little bit back and roast it so i could use it as a garnish. i'm very glad i did, because it really made a difference.

Casting Call

"howdy, danny!" gavin cardigan called out as he entered Poor Yorick's Pub. "what's for din-din?"

"you're gonna like this," Pub owner danny blake replied from behind the bar as he poured an ale. "buffalo chicken sandwiches with celery-roquefort slaw."

"i am certain that our relationship will evolve well beyond like and go directly to lust."

"wotcher, gavin!" taylor young greeted him as he took his regular place at the table.

marian elfman turned to him. "gavin, we're trying to get the Lurker to write a screenplay about the Pub. who do think should play you?"

"a movie about us? why would anybody want to watch a movie about us? i wouldn't."

"why not? we're interesting!" marian insisted. "besides, this discussion would allow our readers to better imagine what we look like."

"ah. that makes more sense."

"so i'm not really writing a screenplay?" the brown-haired Mysterious Lurker put down her pencil. "hmph."

"you're still writing the one about zombies, aren't you?" sierra charles asked her.

the Lurker's face brightened. "it's done! my agent is shopping it around the studios now."

this announcement was followed by general hoopla.

"please, keep your seats! don't rise on my account," came a booming voice from behind them.

they turned to see a tall man in uniform striding toward them, his broad chest adorned with a dozen ribbons. "General Hoopla, at your service!"

there was much eye-rolling at this. "lame!"

the general suddenly had a cane, and was hobbling. "hey, that's not fair!"

danny walked over to deliver cardigan's sandwich. "get used to it."

"i'd rather not," the general hmph'ed and hobbled away.

cardigan sank his teeth gratefully into his meal, moaning his approval of danny's culinary artwork. after swallowing, he said, "are you sure it's wise to identify actors to play us? each of our five or six readers may already have fixed an idea in his or her imagination of what we look like. if we do something to mess that up, we might lose readers."

marian made a face at him. "don't be so melodramatic, gavin! this will be fun. for example, i think that tina fey should be me."

"tina fey?!" gavin shook his head. "no way. i'd say maggie gyllenhaal for you."

"maggie gyllenhaal?!" sierra shook her head. "she's too tall to play marian. now, drew barrymore would make a good marian."

"i vote for helena bonham carter," taylor put in. "she'd be smashing!"

gavin watched as the Lurker began erasing salma hayek's name from her tablet under the "marian" column. "yep, i can tell this is really going to help our readers."

"hmph."

Tyger Tyger Burning Bright

"hello, everyone!" gavin cardigan called out as he entered Poor Yorick's Pub.

"happy new year, gavin!" danny blake greeted him from behind the bar as he pour an ale. "happy chinese new year, that is!"

"oh, thanks. year of the tiger, is it not?"

"indeed it is, my friend. may this year bring you easy prey!" danny handed gavin his glass. "and potstickers, and sauted chinese cabbage, and kung pau chicken, and maddog's indonesian spice cake."

"i love this place," gavin noted with satisfaction as he walked over to join his friends.

"hey, cardigan!" sierra charles waved him over. "we're playing mah-jongg."

"i call stones as trump!" marian elfman declared, laying down a tile with several brightly colored circles.

"fiddlesticks!" grumbled taylor young, who threw down a tile with a blue rectangle.

as marian pulled in her winnings, gavin commented, "i don't know how to play."

Mysterious Lurker lay down a tile with flowers. "your honor, i beseech thee to name three flowers beginning with the letter P."

judge st. bishop began to rub his stomach and pat his head as he recited. "petunia, pansy, and...and...peony!"

the Lurker swore under her breath and gave the judge three of her tiles.

"none of us know how to play," sierra explained. "so we're making it up as we go along." she played a tile with two sticks of bamboo on it. "if you don't play a tile with bamboo on it, you have to give me a potsticker!"

as each player lay down a tile with bamboo, sierra's emitted a "hmph!" of disgust.

danny walked over to deliver gavin's food, prompting sierra to snag a fresh potsticker in her chopsticks.

"hey!" cardigan glared, moving his plate further away from her.

"you didn't play a tile with bamboo," she winked, chewing happily.

"i'm not playing!"

"you should! here, gavin," marian handed him some tiles. "it can be your turn now."

"hmmm," gavin mused, looking at his tiles, then he placed one showing what looked to be a red box with a vertical line through the center of it. "this looks like a heart with an arrow in it. and since tomorrow is valentine's day, i require everyone who doesn't have this same tile to recite a love poem."

taylor sighed, lay down a different tile, then stood up and began to recite:

'twas brillig, and the slithy toves
did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
all mimsy were the borogoves,
and the mome raths outgrabe--

"um, taylor? that's the jobberwocky poem from lewis carroll's Through The Looking-Glass," cardigan pointed out. "not a love poem."

"that stanza is about love," taylor insisted. "give me proof that it isn't!"

marian rolled her eyes, threw down a random tile, and began to recite:

hear my heart's rhythm
watch the tide swell in the bay
know i am the one

"aw, that's sweet, ducky," taylor leaned over to kiss her cheek.

the Lurker tossed in a tile and, with a shake of her platinum locks, said:

roses are red
but sometimes they're
pink or white or yellow or even black.
so are sheets.
what're we waiting for?

"woo-hoo!" sierra high-fived the Lurker. "now that's poetry!"

the judge cleared his throat, turned over a tile, and began:

behold the sun!
its golden hues and radiance
reach down to pat your head in assurance
that your feelings are true and just!
and no man shall ever put asunder
those true and just feelings
that are reassured by the mighty sun!

behold the moon!
its silver hues and reflections--

"um, i think that's enough, your honor," cardigan broke in hastily. "charles? you're up!"

grinning, sierra threw down her tile, a bright red box with a vertical line drawn crudely over the circle in the middle.

"what is that--lipstick?"

"nail polish," sierra admitted.

"you can't do that--it's cheating!"

"no, it's not! we're making the rules up as we go, remember?"

"hmph."

Curried Lentils with Butternut Squash

this is an ugly dish (i mean the brown stuff in the center). i'm a lousy photographer, but i doubt even jen yu could've made this look good (she made lentils recently and those did look good, but they weren't stirred into a curried mashed butternut squash mixture!). but just 'cause it's ugly don't mean it's blech. it is quite good, in fact. this recipe comes from cat cora's Cooking from the Hip. i bought this hardcover cookbook by an Iron Chef for a mere $3.99! definitely cheap, as is the recipe itself. and easy. and pretty quick. you cook the lentils and chunks of butternut squash together, drain, then remove the hunks o' squash and mash 'em up, then add the lentils, some curry powder, fresh ginger, chili powder, olive oil, salt, and pepper, slap it into a baking dish and bake. cat says you can garnish with grated coconut; i improved on the Iron Chef's suggestion. yes, i did! i garnished with toasted coconut. makes a world of difference! she says this is a good vegetarian (even vegan) meal with some brown rice and a mug of beer. i scented my brown rice with a little lemon zest and threw on some sliced scallion, added a slice of my sourdough bread, and poured a flying dog I.P.A. a nice meal indeed.

CYA: Gavin & Foxy & The Judge & The ChronoGuard Take The Door On The Left

NOTE: if you did not jump to this chapter as a result of the Choose Your Adventure story, please go here before reading any further!


"the left one," said the judge decisively.

he strode forward and opened the door.
from the inside came a mighty roar!
they jumped back as a lion strode forward!
but they had Ben from the ChronoGuard
who gathered them near and closed his eyes
and whoosh! they were gone! to their surprise,
they wound up back in Poor Yorick's Pub--
rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub!
danny, tucker, and william shakespeare!
but that's a tale for later, i fear.


THE END
--------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Reader,

You have reached the end of your adventure. I hope you enjoyed it! if not, well, you only have yourself to blame because, you know, you chose yourself. Also, since you--not I--chose this adventure, it did not really take place in the Burkieverse and, therefore, will not have any continuity with the regular Poor Yorick's Pub chapters. Thanks for playing and, if you're in the mood to try another adventure, go back to the beginning and choose a different path!

Red Beans & Rice

i was in the mood to make some red beans & rice for the super bowl (inspired i guess by the saints, who i'd like to see win, although i'd like to see peyton manning win another super bowl, too). there are lots of different ways to make red beans & rice. you can cook the beans separately from the rice, then pour them on top, or you can cook them together. you can make them vegeterian or with meat. so i bought all the ingredients that i thought i would need before snowmageddon hit, then i started looking through all my cheap cookbooks for a recipe while i was snugly snowed in yesterday with 31" of snow piling up. uh, oh. don't tell me i don't have a recipe for red beans & rice in all my cheap cookbooks! ah, that emeril cookbook that maddog gave me. NO?! wtf?! then i noticed mark bittman's How To Cook Everything, which i bought using a gift card. with a title like that, it MUST have a recipe for red beans & rice! *sigh of relief* but...what an odd recipe. there's red bean, there's rice, there's andouille...so far, so good. no cayenne? that's unusual. wait...what's that? coconut milk?! 3 freakin' cups of coconut milk?! and he insists you must use it. i googled® to see if anybody else has blogged about it. i found one, and he raved about it. okay, i feel better.

i didn't have any coconut milk, but i had some shredded coconut in the freezer and bittman teaches how to make your own coconut milk with shredded coconut, boiling water, a blender, and a strainer. so, i soaked the beans overnight and then, after shoveling snow for the 3rd day in row, i started to work. the recipe is actually 2 recipes, not 1 (3 if you count the coconut milk). first you make his red beans with meat (or his red beans without meat; i went for meat), then you make the coconut milk, then you throw the milk and rice into the bean pot and cook until all liquid is absorbed (bittman thinks this takes about 20 minutes for 1 1/2 c. of rice; he's wrong). throw on a garnish and BAM! you're done.

the result? it's really good. BUT don't make this if you're in the mood for traditional red beans & rice. the coconut milk is very present. you can throw some louisiana hot sauce on it and that will give it some heat, but this is a mild, non-cajun dish. more buffet than emeril.

Butterflake Dinner Rolls

on this snowy day, i made a roast, some 8-cheese (!) mac & cheese, and these butterflake dinner rolls from peter reinhart's Artisan Breads Everyday (i promise i'll use the other cheap cookbooks i have, too). he didn't include this butterflake technique in his previous book. as you can see, i didn't do such a good job of it. in his previous books, reinhart was annoyingly precise in his directions and seemed to delight in making you go through every measuring cup & spoon that you own for each recipe (3 1/4c of this, 1/2 c. of this, 2/3 c. of that, 1 1/2 tsp of this, 3/4 tsp of that, 1/3 tsp of the other, etc). that part hasn't changed. what has changed is that in many of these recipes--this one especially--he gives you choices. table or kosher salt; granulated or brown sugar or honey or agave nectar; any kind of milk you want; etc. i used all buttermilk, table salt, and granulated sugar for this. i guess i let it rise and/or proof too long. the shapes are funky, they're a little brown on the bottom, and the segments almost fall apart as opposed to tearing apart. they taste okay, but....not the best dinner rolls i've made by a long shot. mac & cheese was pretty good, though :)

CYA: Boom-Boom & Linda Rock!

NOTE: if you did not jump to this chapter as a result of the Choose Your Adventure story, please go here before reading any further!


"wtf?!" the man--presumably alexander graham bell--sitting across a ouija board from mr. franklin blurted out as boom-boom & linda burst through the door.

a purple mist suddenly rose from the middle of the ouija board.

"jinkies!" ben franklin exclaimed. "we're really conjuring the spirit of leanardo da vinci!"

"leo...oh, no!" dr. bell moaned. "i forgot about him. when the door flor open i...i...thought thought of somebody else."

"really? who?" mr. franklin asked, watching the mist become more opaque.

"m...m...medusa."

"what?!"

"i...i'm sorry, i was frightened and...and when i get frightened i always think of...medusa."

"medusa?" linda interrupted, her voice sounded worried. "the greek medusa?!"

"gorgon, actually," said a sinister voice from the mist. "hello, dahlings!"

a woman's face suddenly appeared where the mist had been, her head full of wriggling snakes instead of hair. though they all knew better, they could not stop themselves from staring into her cold eyes, and they instantly turned into stone.

"HAHAHAHAHA," medusa cackled. "that never gets old!"


THE END
-------------------------------------------------------------------------


Dear Reader,


You have reached the end of your adventure. I hope you enjoyed it! If not, well, you only have yourself to blame because, you know, you chose it yourself. Also, since you--not I--chose this adventure, it did not really take place in the Burkieverse and, therefore, will not have any continuity with the regular Poor Yorick's Pub chapters. Thanks for playing and, if you're in the mood to try another adventure, go back to the beginning and choose a different path!