Vampires! Zombies! Postmasters General! Oh, my!

"howdy, danny!" gavin cardigan greeted his friend as he walked into the pub. "serve me up something good."

danny blake was already pouring a Bass for him. "i've got some mediterranean kebabs in pita bread with tzatziki."

cardigan took the pint with a sigh. "you are a saint, my friend." he turned around and limped over to join the others.

"hey, cardigan. why are you limping? you never told us the other night," sierra inquired.

cardigan grunted as he took his seat. "i went to hawaii for my last job to investigate a business opportunity for a client. i went surfing and wound up twisting my knee."

"tough job," taylor muttered.

"yeah," marian nodded. "i really feel for you."

"how about you, sierra? what are you doing these days?"

"i signed a contract with a pharmaceutical firm to do commercials, magazine ads, billboards--that sort of thing," sierra replied, "but the Lurker is working on something much more exciting."

"what's that, Lurker?" danny asked with interest as he served cardigan his meal.

"i'm writing a movie script," the Lurker smiled up at danny, moving the dark brown bangs away from her eyes. "and i have an agent already! she's sold several scripts to studios, and she's really enthusiastic about mine."

"what's the movie about?"

"it's about this writer who can bring real people like benjamin franklin back from the dead just by writing about them," Mysterious Lurker explained. "and--"

"how many times must i explain this, young lady? i am not dead," benjamin franklin stated in hard, even tones as he walked in. "i am as alive as you are. i simply go from my time to your time."

"so you're writing a movie about burkie?" marian asked. "i hope danny devito can find time in his schedule to play him."

"no, it's not about burkie. when this guy writes about famous people, they come back from the dead as zombies, so people have to deal with the psychological trauma of killing their personal and national heroes or else see their friends and family eaten for dinner." the Lurker turned toward benjamin franklin apologetically. "no offense, mr. franklin. it's just a fictional story meant for entertainment."

ben franklin smiled at the yellow-haired Lurker. "no offense taken, my dear. in fact, i'm fascinated by the idea! tell me, do i start eating people while they're still alive, or do i kill them first?"

"NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!" judge st. bishop stormed into the pub, shaking his head. "you cannot turn benjamin franklin into a zombie! he's a founding father! why don't you use somebody like george stephanopoulos? hey, that looks good." he noticed the plate in front of cardigan and turned toward blake. "can you fix me one of those, too? much obliged, danny."

"george stephanopoulos isn't dead yet, your honor." marian pointed out.

"calm down, magistrate," ben franklin patted the upset man on the shoulder. "it's quite all right. i'm honored to be the subject of one of these moving pictures."

"will there be any vampies in the movie?" taylor asked, showing off his fangs.

"maybe a chinese vampire," the Lurker mused. "can't you see chairman mao hopping around with his arms outstretched?"

"that could be good," the judge acknowledged. "i'd pay to see that."

"not me," geoffrey pompousass commented as he cleared empty dishes off the table. "all your writer would have to do is stop writing, then no more zombies. sounds like a short movie," he snickered.

"not as short as your career," blake glared at him. "you're fired. if you're not out of here in less than 60 seconds, i'll have taylor bite you."

taylor bared his fangs, and the Lurker leaned over to kiss danny on the cheek. "that was really sweet, danny. thanks for taking up for me."

blake muttered under his breath as his face blushed to match the Lurker's hair, and followed pompousass to the door.