Cop Out!

"howdy, danny boy!" cardigan greeted his friend behind the bar as he jovially entered the pub. "what are you serving on this surprisingly autumn-like summer evening?"

"crab and corn chowder," came danny blake's reply. "with a hunk of burkie's poolish baguette."

"burkie's here?" cardigan looked around the pub, seeking out their handsome creator.

"no, but he sent me over to deliver the bread," explained special assistant hepzibah, waving at him from the table where the others sat.

cardigan took his beer from blake and walked over to join them. "what's burkie been up to lately?"

"baking and creating."

"oh. well, when you see him, would you tell him i need a new car? i mean, the ferrari's cool, and i'd like to keep it, but it gets horrible mileage and it runs on premium. i can't afford to drive it right now."

"you should get a hybrid," marian advised. "burkie should be advocating more of a green lifestyle."

"i ride a scooter," taylor noted.

marian snickered. "you should see his cape flapping behind him when he rides it."

"i use public transportation," the golden-haired Mysterious Lurker said. "i don't have a driver's license. it's my way of sticking it to the man."

"what do you use for official identification then?" asked blake, intrigued as he delivered cardigan's chowder and bread.

"that's an excellent question," stated the policewoman who strode into the pub at the moment, her thick black hair braided behind her. "she never seems to have it on her whenever i ask for it."

"oh!" flustered, s.a. hepzibah begins searching frantically through her planner. "i'm sorry, who are you? you don't seem to be in burkie's notes."

"nor my spreadsheet," marian added, clicking away on her laptop with a puzzled look.

"hello, officer shakalaka," the Lurker greeted the imposing law enforcer. "danny keeps my purse behind the bar. i'll get it for you."

"officer shakalaka?" sierra asked. "may i see your badge, please?"

the police officer narrowed her eyes as she approached the table. "you doubt who i am?"

"no, it's not that," sierra explained as she read the writing on the badge. "damn. it only says 'Police.'"

"officer shakalaka?" s.a. hepzibah's face was definitely pinker than usual as she addressed the woman in the starched uniform. "i need to report your presence here to burkie. could you give me your full name, address, and phone number, please?"

"sgt. tarboom shakalaka, but my friends call me 'boom-boom." she reached into her shirt pocket and pulled out a business card. "here's my info. burkie can call me later if he wants." she winked. "or you can."

the card slipped from hepzibah's fingers and fell to the floor. taylor handed it to her since he was already down there picking up the fork he had knocked off the table.

officer shakalaka turned back toward the bar to talk to the Lurker, and stomped her foot. "where'd she go?"

danny shrugged his shoulders. "i don't know. she was here just a second ago." he looked around in vain. "she's good at appearing and disappearing at will."

"so i've noticed," the policewoman glared at blake, then stormed out the door.

tucker strummed his guitar as she left:

if you break the law
she'll break your jaw
so unclench your fists
and let her cuff your wrists
it's a losing hand
for a betting man
boom-boom shakalaka
boom-boom
boom-boom shakalaka
boom-boom

she's a fiesty lass
so don't give her sass
she'll bust your lip
or pistol-whip
you on the head
listen what i said
boom-boom shakalaka
boom-boom
boom-boom shakalaka
boom-boom