Donuts!

yeah, baby. donuts! baked yeast donuts, that is. i know, baked donuts are usually....why bother? just eat cake. but, i wanted to try a yeasted donut, and i don't like to fry, so when i found this recipe and all the nice comments, i decided to give it a shot. i mixed the dough, did the initial rise, shaped them, then put them in the fridge last night. i took them out this morning, let 'em de-chill & rise about an hour and a half, then baked. while they were baking, i readied up the chocolate glaze, a lemon glaze, and cinnamon-sugar for toppings, along with some powdered sugar and some sprinkles. as you can see from the pics, i made various types to satisfy everyone. they were really good. really, really good. the freshly grated nutmeg in the dough came through and made a difference (as it almost always does). the kids, the spousal--everyone agreed they were better than store-bought. i liked the lemon glazed myself, but even the chocolate glazed (not a usual fave of mine) were good (i used alton brown's recipe, but added a touch of cinnamon to it 'cause i'm a rebel). baked donuts--don't knock 'em 'till you try these.

It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Pub

"howdy, y'all!" gavin cardigan hollered as he entered the Pub. "what's on the menu tonight?"

"spicy curry noodle soup with chicken & sweet potatoes," danny blake answered, pouring a Guinness for his best customer.

"that sounds terribly good, and wonderfully autumnal," gavin noted, licking his chops.

"what does that mean?" sierra asked as gavin approached the others at their usual table.

"what does what mean?" gavin looked puzzled.

"licking your chops," sierra explained. "how do you lick your chops? aren't they where your ribs are, like pork chops?"

gavin shook his head. "no, chops is simply slang for mouth, or jaws, or lips. it means you're looking forward to a feast."

"so why would you hit yourself in the mouth?" marian inquired. "is that what busting your chops means?"

gavin scowled. "no, that means to exert yourself. chops in that sense is slang for mad skillz."

"but taylor sometimes tells me, 'stop busting my chops!' but, how can i exert myself using his mad skillz?"

"taylor has mad skillz?" sierra affected surprise.

taylor pointed his fangs at her with a menacing look.

"that means he wants you to stop criticizing his mad skillz," gavin said, taking a loooong sip of his stout. "honestly, you really need to take burkie's class."

"NO!"

danny dropped off the curried soup. "eat up."

"what if he wants to eat down?" Mysterious Lurker appeared suddenly, thanks to her mad ninja skillz.

"that's true," taylor agreed. "food travels down when you eat it. it only travels upward when you vomit."

"no vomiting in my pub!"

*danny, you outdone yourself!" cardigan pointed at his soup. "you've got mad cooking skillz."

"i don't have any mad skillz," marian pouted.

"aw, sure you do, honey," taylor assured her.

"what?" marian challenged him.

"oh, you know," he waved his hand in what was suppssed to be a vague manner, but wound up knocking his glass to the floor. he eagerly knelt to the floor to pick it up and avoid answering, causing marian to roll her eyes.

"that's it!" sierra pointed out gleefully. "you've got mad face-making skillz!"

marian clapped her hands, her face beaming. "i've got mad skillz!"

cardigan sighed. "i've got an empty glass."

French Bread

yep. just plain ol' french bread from reinhart's BBA. no fancy shapes, no funky flavors. made a pre-ferment last night, mixed it with a fresh dough today, and that's it. it's as good as it looks. no, it's better, given my photography. i saved the unusual for the main course, which was italian sausages and plums braised in red wine, a recipe from one of my favorite cookboods all about braising. a winner!

Crisp Rosemary Flatbread (okay, crackers)

deb at smitten kitchen says everyone needs a flatbread in their repetoire. i've made naan before, so i thought i was covered, but i when i saw her recipe for crisp rosemary flatbread, i knew i wanted to try it, and make some baba ghanoush (or whichever spelling you desire). well, i couldn't find tahini, so i make eggplant dip rather than the baba stuff. it was yummy (though i was a little heavy on the garlic). the flatbread was quick (no yeast) and easy, and good, and went very well with the eggplant dip. but....it's a cracker. i realize the line is blurry between flatbread and cracker, and cracker is technically a flatbread, but.....it's a cracker. also, i notice my pics have been awful of late. i'm glad hardly anybody every reads this thing.

CYA: Boom-Boom & Linda Hit The Mark

NOTE: if you did not jump to this chapter as a result of the Choose Your Adventure story, please go here before reading any further!


they got out of the car and looked around.

"that way!" boom-boom pointed toward some buildings to the east.

linda grinned. "sure am glad they added the feature of placing a location along with the time for the 4th movie."


"i don't remember a 4th movie."

"they never made one, but they modified the delorean just in case."

"do you think we got this lucky in the other story option?" boom-boom asked.

"probably not."

"suckers."

"yeah."

they entered town and asked the first person they saw where the university is. "uh...uh, that way. that way!"

they thanked the strange man and walked down the lane. "what's his problem?"

boom-boom shrugged her shoulders. "beats me."

"stop right there, missy!"

they stopped--in surprise, not fear--as a man in what appeared to be an old-fashioned law enforcement uniform stepped in front of them.

"my name is not missy," boom-boom said flatly.

"neither is mine," linda said evenly.

"i don't care what you name is, lassie," the man said, er, levelly. "take off that weapon, lower it to the ground, and step back."

boom-boom looked at linda. "did he just call me a dog's name? and is levelly a word?"

"he most certainly did, and i have no idea."

"i have a permit to carry this weapon," boom-boom told him. "now, get out of my way, little man."

"women are not allowed to carry weapons, now do as i say or else!"

boom-boom looked at linda. "he did not just say that, did he?"

linda shook her head at the poor man. "you really are stupid, aren't you? why don't you run home to mommy and let us go about our business. we're in a hurry."

this prompted him to pull out his whistle and blow before walking up to grabbed boom-boom by the sleeve. linda rolled her eyes just as boom-boom's fist connect directly below his left eye.

"POW!"

footsteps sounded behind them. linda turned to see another lawman reaching for her. she raised her knee sharply into his groin.

"OOOF!"

the first man took a handful of boom-boom's hair, earning a sidekick to the knee.

"THUNK!"

"here comes another one!" linda pointed at a man sprinting toward them.

"give me your hands!"

boom-boom took linda's hands and swung her around. linda instinctively kicked out, the toe of her cowboy boot connecting with the man's temple, dropping him instantly.

"ZOWIE!"


boom-boom grinned. "i think that was more of a "KER-PLUNK!"

"let's run for it!"


they left the men groaning in the street as they ran toward the university. as luck would have it, the first building they entered happened to be the one that housed dr. bell's office. they took the stairs two at a time and burst into the office.

"holy voodoo, boom-boom!"


Click here for rock

Click here for roll

Caterpillar Bread

i'm sorry i didn't find this recipe last week, because maddog was telling me the other she wanted to make pigs-in-a-blanket for the nfl's opening weekend. this is a fun variation. i wanted to use kielbasa instead of regular franks, though, and i thought a rye bread would work better than the sweet bun used in the original recipe. i found this russian rye on the king arthur flour website which not only was a good slavic match for my kielbasa, but also let me use more of my malted barley syrup :) i also added some dried minced onion to the dough for a little more flavor. now, if you clicked on the original recipe, you'll see that they squirted mayo & ketchup all over it before making . two things you'll never see me adding to a hot dog--and especially not to polish sausage--are mayo and ketchup. the proper condiment for this is spicy deli mustard. this is a good party appetizer, and would fit right in alongside a cheese platter and an assortment of pickles. and beer.

English Muffins

i've made english muffin bread before, which i liked a lot, but this time i decided to make traditional english muffins, using pter reinhart's recipe in BBA. the winner? definitely the loaf bread. these look the part on the outside, but when you fork 'em open, the characteristic nooks & crannies are nowhere to be found. not in mine. they were heavy & doughy and just not very good. i followed the recipe exactly, but....it's a bomb. or i'm a bomb. either way, i like the loaf bread better.

Shallow Waters Run Deep

"greetings!" cardigan hailed as he entered the pub. "what're we eating tonight, danny?"

"vietnamese grilled pork balls in lettuce leaves," danny blake answered, handing cardigan a pint of Bass Ale.

"i'm so glad you do the cooking around here," cardigan grinned, taking his beer and walking over to join the other regulars, who seemed to be in the middle of a lively discussion.

"i don't need an occupation," taylor complained. "i'm a vampire."

marian rolled her eyes. "you're a vampire wannabe, taylor. besides, vampire isn't a profession; it's a species. or, in your case, a whim."

"what's going on?" cardigan asked as he seated himself.

"burkie needs to develop our characters more," marian explained. "neither taylor nor Mysterious Lurker have jobs, for example."

"i lurk," the brown-eyed Lurker stated, appearing suddenly.

"that doesn't pay any more than vampiring," sierra noted. "wait, is vampiring a word? or is it vamping?"

"no, i think you do all the vamping around here, charles," cardigan mused.

"and what about me?" linda nulo lamented. "all i am is tucker's girlfriend. am i a lawyer? doctor? catholic? what pyschological trauma led me to tucker?"

"why does psychological trauma have to be a prerequisite for dating me?" tucker looked puzzled.

the heart she wore around her neck
was golden, strong, and true
the one that beat within her chest
's been broke a time or two
she figured she had paid the price
it's time to make a stand
she's ready now to give her love
to me, the guitar man

"tucker, have you made any CDs yet or sold any songs?" marian asked.

he shook his head. "nope. i play here, but danny only pays me with free food."

"that's an interesting point, tucker," blake commented as he delivered cardigan's meal. "at least tucker does something around here. the rest of you never pay."

the Lurker turned her baby blue eyes on him. "financial transactions aren't interesting, danny. burkie doesn't want to lose his readers by making them read about tedious things like that."

"look, i think you're blowing this out of proportion," cardigan said. "it's just a blog. burkie's readers are only interested in what you're doing at the moment they're reading about you. they don't need to know who your 6th grade teacher was, or what you like for breakfast."

"bacon!" sierra stated for the record.

"migas," linda joined in.

"anything, as long as hash browns come with it," marian declared.

"bloody marys!" taylor flashed his fangs. "and a bowl of count chocula."

"that may be the most disgusting breakfast i've ever heard of," the Lurker shuddered, a tattoo of the quaker oats guy suddenly appearing on her arm. "i'm an oatmeal girl."

"i like burkie's bagels myself," cardigan noted, "but do you think people really care about that?"

"of course!" marian insisted. "character development is essential to crafting a good story."

"well, you seem to be doing okay. you're a columnist, you maintain spreadsheets, you make interesting faces, and you're dating a vampire."

"a clumsy, unemployed vampire."

"who rides a scooter."

"and eats count chocula."

"and dates a columnist."

"see, they know a lot about me," taylor folded his arms smugly, leaning back in his stool. alas, he leaned back too far and crashed to the floor. "i'm all right, i'm all right."

marian rolled her eyes. "too bad you didn't get amnesia. then we could've developed your character from scratch."

"you're just jealous that you don't have super powers like i do."

"or the black darter," added the Lurker, snickering.

"would it help if i were pregnant?" sierra offered.

"you're pregnant, charles?" cardigan looked at her in surprise.

"NO!" sierra looked around indignantly. "burkie made me say that. i am not pregnant!"

"this post is going nowhere" cardigan noted. "slowly."

"i heard that burkie's sick," linda stated. "that's probably why this chapter is so bad."

marian looked skeptical.

Breadsticks (with a twist or two)

stayed home sick today, but i could make bread if i let the bread machine do all the kneading for me. i decided to make breadsticks, because i haven't yet. i found a breadmachine recipe for cheesey bread and sort of followed it. i used cheddar cheese, and garlic-infused EVOO rather than butter, and added some crushed dried herbs, set the breadmachine to the dough cycle, and let it do the work. after the initial rise, i dumped it out of the machine, rolled it out into a large rectangle, and used a pizza cutter to cut it into long, thin strips. i decided to make twisted strands of cheesey breadsticks. and then i thought about other shapes. it's opening weekend of nfl football, so how about Xs & Os? i tried it, let 'em rise again, brushed an eggwash on top, and sprinkled sesame seeds on the Os. the verdict? excellent! not that i'm a big fan of breadsticks, but these were good--crisp & flavorful.

Sub Rolls

safeway had pork loins on sale, so i made a couple of big ones yesterday. knowing i had leftovers, i decided i wanted a cuban sandwich. i've never had one, but i've wanted to try. so, i made sub rolls using the italian bread recipe in my bread machine cookbook (with the inspired title of The Bread Machine Cookbook, by donna rathmell german). i put the dough machine on dough cycle and let it do the hard work, then i took the dough out, separated it into 6 classic pistolet (it's a culinary term! how cool is that?) shapes, let 'em rise about an hour und a half, then baked. have i told you, dear readers (all five of you), that i'm a genius? yup. soft in the middle, crusty on the outside. i split one, slabbered with mustard, added pork, ham, cheese, and pickle, then grilled it in a cast iron pan with heavy pan pressing down on it, then flipped it over to grill the other side, and behold: a cubano sanwich. the bread was very good. the sandwich? eh. it was good, but not worth the fuss i've seen made over them. it probably helps to be in havana or tampa when you eat them, i suppose. it's certainly nowhere in my personal pantheon of sandwich deities (the reuben, pb&j, cold meatloaf, blt&a ((avocado)), and of course the burkie ((in the comments of that blog)), among others) but good. actually, i think i'd like it better cold rather than grilled.