What A Doll!

"hello, danny boy! what're we eating?" cardigan hurried into Poor Yorick's Pub out of the wind.

"taiwanese popcorn tofu," came the answer, as blake began pouring a beer.

"sounds....different. set me up, though," he took his beer and walked over to the join the others at the table. "hey, maddie! chris! what brings you guys to the pub?"

"i tried a new new cake recipe and wanted you guys to try it first. it's an orange-almond bundt cake."

"that sounds divine. where did you get the inspiration?"

maddog rolled her eyes over to where burkie was sitting. "oh. well, it still sounds good."

burkie shook his head. "let it go, cardigan." he turned toward maddog and chris. "thanks for dropping in tonight, guys. i'm sorry the beer selection isn't more diverse, but danny insists on keeping it simple and will only stock Guinness Stout and Bass Ale."

"don't worry about it, jb," chris said around a mouthful of the tofu. "as long as he cooks like this, it's good enough."

"good, is it?" cardigan asked?

"try it yourself," danny placed a basketful in front of cardigan, complete with fried basil leaves.

cardigan popped one in his mouth and crunched. "mmm, these could be addicting."

"i agree," sierra seconded, sneaking her chopsticks into cardigan's basket to swipe one. "so what's your beef with burkie, cardigan?"

"hey, guys!" tucker walked in the pub, guitar case in one hand, a pretty girl in the other. "this is linda nulo."

"hi, linda. welcome to the pub!" marian waved the newcomers over to the table.

"hello, everybody," linda smiled, looking around the Pub. "tucker told me this was a nice place, and you were nice people. he was right."

"how long have you and tucker been together, linda?" Mysterious Lurker asked.

"oh, we just got together today. it was burkie's idea. he put us on the same soccer team, and we just clicked."

cardigan grumbled and popped another popcorn tofu in his mouth. sierra, marian, and the Lurker all looked at each other and started giggling, guessing the source of cardigan's irritation with burkie.

blake brought over a couple of beers for the newcomers. "hola, senorita. mi taberna es su taberna."

"gracias," linda laughed. "your hospitality is legendary, danny."

taylor extended his hand. "i'm taylor, this is marian, that's sierra, Mysterious Lurker, maddie, chris, and that brooding lump of flesh is gavin."

linda quickly moved her beer to the side when taylor stuck his hand her way. "vampire of sorts, advice columnist for whiners, D-list celebrity, she who lurks and does many other things in a mysterious fashion, biscuit pusher, indulgent boyfriend, and the world's best detective," she recited.

the Lurker punched cardigan's arm. "hear that, gavin? you're the world's best!"

"tucker told me about how you solved spock's fake murder," linda explained. "that was brilliant."

caridgan turned a bright shade of pink. "i just watched a lot of 'star trek' growing up. too much, probably."

"that's right, you fired spock. have you hired a replacement, danny?" marian asked.

"yep. buddy lee." blake jerked his thumb over his shoulder toward the end of the bar. they looked and saw a 12" doll wearing dungarees and a flannel shirt, standing on the bar.

"buddy lee?!" cardigan was astonished. "not only is he not a real person, he's not real period!"

blake shrugged. "he's a phenomenal worker. i never see him move, but every time i turn around, his work is all done. i don't argue with results."

"he's creepy, danny," the Lurker looked a little alarmed.

blake half-smiled at her. "i've kind of gotten accustomed to people just popping up without my seeing them." he walked back to the bar, leaving the Lurker at a loss for words.

"this cake is terrific, maddie!" marian gushed.

"smashing!" added taylor.

"mmmmm," was all sierra could manage to get out, her mouth full of the moist, flavorful concoction.

"yeah, yeah, whatever." maddie looked annoyed. "it's not that great. he just got lucky."

tucker started strumming:

he walks into town
all five-foot eight
with a razor wit
and a chubby waist
his beard is grey
and his eyebrows bushy
an itty-bitty nose
and a great big--

"uh, tucker?" burkie interrupted. "how' bout some buffet, instead?"