CYA: Juliet & the Darter Ride the Crazy Train

NOTE: if you did not jump to this chapter as a result of the Choose Your Adventure story, please go here before reading any further!


the house vibrated gently as it took off and, in a very short time, settled down with a slight THUD. juliet & the darter ran out to see where and when they were.

"dat, i don't think we're in frisco anymore," juliet said dryly. "nor do i think we're in boston."

they looked out on a flat, dry landscape of grassland.

"what is that?" the unconventional conventionist pointed at the foundation of the house, where two legs were sticking out from underneath the house. the legs were covered in striped stockings, and the feet were adorned with ruby red slippers.

"OMG!" juliet ran forward, kicking her own heels off, and pulled the slippers from the unfortunate dead woman's feet. "do you know what these are?" she exclaimed excitedly as she slipped them on her own feet.

the darter shook his head in disbelief. "it can't be!"

"they're a perfect fit! i'm wearing dorothy's ruby red slippers!" juliet danced around, singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow.

"then that must be the Wicked Witch of the East," the darter pointed at the legs sticking out from under the house.


"the witch is dead?" the unconventional conventionist was in awe.

the other unconventional conventionists came out and gather 'round excitedly.

"the witch is dead!"

"the witch is dead!"

"ding dong, the witch is dead. the wicked ol' witch is dead!"

just then, the sky darkened and they heard a horrifying wail. "yeoooooow, who killed my sister?!"

they turned to see a wicked witch with a green face staring evilly at them.

"you!" the witch pointed at juliet. "you killed my sister and took her shoes. give them to me now!"

"like hell i will! do you know how much these shoes mean to crossdressers everywhere?! they're the holy grail of footwear!"

the witch took a menacing step forward, then there was a PFFT! sound.

they all watched as a black dart flew well over the witch's head to land 8 feet behind her.

"shit, that was my last dart," the darter muttered, and he started to run in a wide half-circle around the witch to retrieve his dart.

"i'm going to kill you for killing my sister!" the witch stepped forward again, paying no heed to the darter.

"you'll do no such thing!" a fair voice rang out. the sky brightened and a beautiful woman in white floated down from the sky in front of the wicked witch.

"out of my way, glenda!" the wicked witch snarled. "this is no concern of yours."

"you have no power here," the good witch waved her wand at the wicked witch. "you must go back to your own borders."

the wicked witch glared at glenda, then pointed her crooked finger at juliet. "i'll get you, my pretty!" she gave a quick glance behind her. "and your little darter, too!"

the good witch waved her wand again and the wicked witch disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"now, about those shoes," the good witch turned toward juliet.

"sorry, toots. they're coming with me. let's go, dat!"

she grabbed the darter by the arm and, before glenda could do anything else, tapped her heels together three times saying, "there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home."

they left oz in a flash and appeared back in Poor Yorick's Pub, only everything was in black and white.

and juliet was barefoot.

"hmph!"


THE END
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Dear Reader,

You have reached the end of your adventure. I hope you enjoyed it! If not, well, you only have yourself to blame because, you know, you chose it yourself. Also, since you--not I--chose this adventure, it did not really take place in the Burkieverse and, therefore, will not have any continuity with the regular Poor Yorick's Pub chapters. Thanks for playing and, if you're in the mood to try another adventure, go back to the beginning and choose a different path!