The Waitress & The Waiter

"hey, danny boy! what're we eating tonight?" cardigan hung up his coat by the door as he entered the Pub.

"corn dogs." danny blake was already pouring a beer for his best customer.

"have i told you lately that i love you?" cardigan picked up his beer. "how come nobody has married you yet?"

blake shrugged. "i'm too high-maintenance."

cardigan walked over to join the regulars at the table. "what's up, guys & dolls?"

"marian's choosing a new question to answer for her column," sierra replied.

"how about this one?" marian began to read out loud:

dear marian,

i work as a waitress in a busy restaurant. one of the waiters here is always telling the customers lies and outrageous stories. he'll tell one table his name is "giovanni" and tell another table that his name is "leroy." he claims to be a bullrider, or an associate professor, or a former soldier who caught a bullet in iraq, or other outright lies like that. i admit he does his share of the work around here, but i don't think it's right to tell lies. what do you think?

signed,

the truthful waitress

"he sounds fun," Mysterious Lurker noted, twirling her dirty blonde hair in her fingers. "danny, why don't you hire him to work here?"

blake walked up to deliver a platter of corn dogs and a squeeze bottle of mustard. "yeah, he sounds like your kind of person, all right." he blinked as the raven-haired Lurker bit into a corn dog, then shook his head. "besides, i have all the help i need around here," he added, jerking his head in the direction of a tall man sitting at the end of the bar, with short black hair and pointed ears.

"who is that?" cardigan asked. "and what happened to rachel?."

"she walked out, saying burkie never did develop her character since he introduced her back in chapter 3. so i hired mr. spock."

"mr. spock?" cardigan was startled. "but he's a fictional character! he's not real."

"neither are you, mr. cardigan," spock interrupted. "therefore, it is only logical that i can exist wherever you exist."

"what's wrong, sierra?" taylor asked, seeing that her face was flushed.

marian snickered. "she used to have a crush on spock."

caridgan looked at her in surprise. "really? i would've pegged you for a captain picard groupie."

"no, that's me," said the Lurker dreamily. "he had the cutest bald head."

"i liked will crusher," said marian.

"he's a devoted Geocacher, you know," taylor pointed out. "well, the actor that plays him is."

marian looked at him. "why do you know that, taylor?"

"well, i don't, but burkie does and he wanted me to point it out. burkie likes geocaching."

"why would spock take a job in a pub?" cardigan asked. "that doesn't sound logical to me."

"because i needed a job," spock replied. "there is no series and no movies that include me. i even got kicked off the priceline.com commercials."

"well, what do you think of marian's letter? how would you answer it?" the Lurker wanted to know.

"there is nothing for the man to gain by telling those lies; he is only causing confusion. logic would dictate that he stick to the truth."

"logic would also dictate that you do more than just sit there if you work here," blake grumbled. "i'm sure i can have burkie develop rachel's character and replace you."

spock nodded and placed an apron over his head and reached around to tie the straps around his back. "i'll just go wash some dishes, then."

cardigan looked at sierra, who was still blushing. "come on, charles, you can't still have a crush on him, can you? i mean, those ears are really pointed!"

"much like an elf's would be," marian said musingly. "taylor, can you make your ears pointed?"

"i could, but then sierra might have a crush on me, too," taylor grinned, showing his fangs.

"i never had a crush on mr. spock!" she declared, unconvincingly. "can we get back to marian's letter?"

"i think she should take care of her own customers and let him take care of his," marian declared. "his customers don't seem to mind his creativity. beside, she shouldn't be so melodramatic!"