Fangsgiving in February

"burkie!" marian waved at their handsome creator when he walked in.

"evening, ma'am," burkie tipped his hat and approached the bar. "whatcha got tonight, hoss?"

danny blake placed a pink cupcake in front of him. "an oh-so-coconutty cupcake."

burkie looked at up at blake, clearly annoyed. "this is a pub, not a tea party. why is it i read--actually, write--about all these delicious, savory recipes you make, yet when i come in, it's peanut butter & jelly sandwiches or coconut cupcakes?"

blake shrugged. "it's your fault. it was supposed to be guinness malt-wheaten bread. what happened there?"

"uh, yeah, about that....i forgot to add the sugar. and at half-a-cup, that's a lot of sugar to forget, so it didn't brown right, it didn't taste right, and it didn't quite cook all the way through. it went into the trash."

"good thing maddog saved your ass with these cupcakes then," blake retorted. "she dropped them off a short time ago."

"maddog, huh?" burkie picked it up with growing interest and bit into it, then quickly grabbed a second one on his way to the table to join the regulars. "how's it going, guys? enjoying the new format?"

"very much so," marian noted, "i have several ideas of how you can improve it, though." she started punching keys on her laptop. "i put them in a spreadsheet somewhere...."

"a spreadsheet?" cardigan was confused. "it's a blog, not a database."

"but i like to categorize my ideas," marian explained. "i have a column for existing character suggestions, new character suggestions, cases for gavin, dating partners for sierra--"

"wait a minute, i don't need any help getting dates," sierra objected, biting into burkie's as yet untouched second cupcake.

"well, let's talk about that," burkie broke in. "it's not unusual for a group of single adults to get together in a pub every night and hang out, especially in the fictional world. what is unusual is for none of them to be romantically involved with anybody, or at least going out on one disastrous date after another, especially in the fictional world."

"doesn't that make us stand out from the norm and, therefore, more interesting?" Mysterious Lurker asked, signaling blake for a beer.

"i'm not sure," burkie admitted. "i think we should experiment and see how it works out. who wants to volunteer to go first?"

"sierra," cardigan, marian, blake, and the Lurker said in unison.

sierra made a face. "no! why do you always gang up on me? pick on somebody else."

"hmmm...." burkie mused, then looked toward the door as a new character walked in.

"hullo," the newcomer greeted them, knocking over a barstool as he raised his arm to wave at them. "oh, sorry about that." the tall, dark-haired man picked up the stool, then reached over for the beer that blake had just poured for the Lurker, but accidently knocked it over. "oh, sorry about that."

the others sat back and watched in fascinated silence as the man finally worked his way over to them, sloshing the two beers he was carrying as he bumped into various chairs and tables before finally arriving with just over half-a-beer in each glass. he sat one down in front of the Lurker with an apologetic, "sorry about that." he took a seat and pushed his little round glasses back up on his nose, grinning.

burkie made the introductions. "marian, meet taylor young."

marian rolled her eyes. "you can't be serious!"

sierra and the Lurker didn't bother to suppress their laughter.

taylor looked around. "what's the matter?"

marian scrunched her face at him. "you seem a little clumsy."

"that's only in the fictional world. in the real world...well, i don't exist in the real world, but if i did, i'm sure i'd be dignified and debonair."

cardigan stuck his hand out. "i'm cardigan. welcome to the pub."

burkie looked at taylor. "isn't there something you want to show them, taylor?"

the newcomer blinked a couple of times, then said, "oh, yeah!" he opened his mouth to show two fangs slowly growing longer before their very eyes. "ouch!" he yelped as the fangs punctured his own bottom lip.

marian sniggered.

burkie sighed. "you'll have to work on that, taylor."

sierra and the Lurker had tears in their eyes from laughing so hard.

"this isn't fair!" marian stomped her foot. "sierra wanted to date a vampire, not me."

"well, i don't think he's a real vampire," burkie admitted, watching taylor dab at his lip with a napkin. "maybe he just has the uncanny ability to grow fangs at will, but he doesn't drink blood or turn other people into vampires or have immortality."

"he's certainly uncanny," cardigan commented.

"wait a minute--i'm not immortal?" taylor was disappointed. "can i at least turn into a bat?"

"no!" blake hollered from behind the bar. "no bat guano in the pub!"

"maybe he can turn into a black darter," sierra suggested.

"no, we already have one of those to make fun of," the Lurker said mischeviously. "perhaps he can turn into a squirrel."

"if i'm dating him, i'm wearing a cross around my neck," marian declared.

taylor shrugged. "i'm catholic. i doubt it will have any effect."

marian dug into her bag and pulled out a half-knitted scarf and wrapped it around her neck. "there."

"uh, i don't think that will work, either," sierra told her. "maybe you should borrow a leather collar from the white corgi."

"with beer in the barrel," added taylor, who put his fangs inside his glass and started slurping beer through them.

burkie nodded with a look of satisfaction. "my work here is done. goodnight!"

"burkie! wait!" marian wailed after him as he walked out.