Putting the Giving in Thanksgiving

gavin cardigan walked into Poor Yorick's Pub and greeted his friend behind the bar. "hey, danny! what's on the menu tonight?"

"big curry noodle pot," danny blake replied, pouring his best friend and customer a Bass.

"sounds slurpingly delicious, my friend." he took his pint and walked over to join the other regulars. "oh, hi hepzibah. what's up?"

special assistant hepzibah was seated next to marian elfman, who was typing on her laptop. "hi, gavin. marian wanted to discuss an idea for the blog."

marian looked up. "i've been reading some of the food blogs that burkie reads, and i noticed that some of them are offering giveaways to their readers. with the holidays approaching, i thought that we should have a giveaway, too."

"hmmm," cardigan reflected. "didn't burkie win one of those giveaways once?"

hepzibah nodded. "yes, he won a cookbook from thursday night countdown. she's giving away potholders now, to whichever reader has the most disgusting potholders."

"the potholder idea was inspired by a blogger who ran a contest for the ugliest pillows," marian noted. "and jen, from use real butter, is giving away a hand-knitted scarf."

"marian, you knit," sierra charles pointed out. "do you want to offer a scarf?"

the knitting advice columnist shook her head. "no, that's already been done. we should be original!"

"first we need to figure out a contest, and then figure out a prize," s.a. hepzibah stated, pushing up the sleeves of her SFPD sweatshirt.

"how about an essay contest?" taylor young suggested. "readers could write about their favorite character, and the winner would receive an autographed picture."

"we don't exist, taylor," the black-haired Mysterious Lurker reminded him. "we can't autograph anything. plus, you're a vampire, so you couldn't be photographed even if you existed."

"a recipe contest," danny suggested as he placed cardigan's dinner on the table. "and burkie could make the winning dish for the winner."

"not all of burkie's readers are local, danny," hepzibah informed him. "his readership has grown--perhaps even into the double digits. the prize would have to be mailable, and non-perishable."

tucker strummed a chord on his guitar. "whatever the contest is, i could write a song for the winner."

cardigan, marian, and hepzibah all grimaced, having been the subject of a tucker song.

"um, maybe not, tucker," taylor jumped in, noting the looks around the table. "there's probably copyright issues or something."

at that moment, figure with spiky white hair and a long black coat strode in, holding out a business card. "might i suggest--"

the Lurker rolled her eyes. "dat, if you're offering another free rescue from the black darter, you can turn right around and leave."

the black darter's face turned redder than the Lurker's locks and he turned around and left.

"Lurker, you could do a virtual tarot reading for the winner," cardigan suggested.

the Lurker shook her blonde braids. "no, it has to be done in person. i need their energy to be present. speaking of prizes, did we ever figure out what the winner of the fantasy football league gets?"

hepzibah nodded. "yes. burkie will let the winner write a chapter. now, can we agree to a contest? i've got the prize figured out."

"someone could suggest an interesting blind date for charles," cardigan grinned.

"no!" sierra looked indignant.

"hey, i like that idea!"

"me, too!"

hepzibah looked at sierra with sympathy. "those are consistently entertaining stories, you have to admit."

"that's not fair!"

"what's the prize, hepzibah?"

"a genuine Poor Yorick's Pub coffee mug."

"we have mugs? i wanna see!" marian exclaimed.

"look at the posting below called 'Mug Shots,'" hepzibah instructed her.

"yay! we have mugs!"

"so what do you have to do to win?"

"send burkie an email at burkie47@gmail.com and suggest a blind date idea for sierra by 1 december. burkie and i will select the best idea, and the winner will win the mug," hepzibah explained.

"hmph," sierra hmph'd.