Hey, it's Poor Yorick's Pub. A graveyard scene was inevitable.

gavin cardigan walked into the Pub with a heavy sigh.

"danny boy, whaddya have for a hard-working man?"

"korean bbq yum yum rice bowl," his friend danny blake replied, sliding a ping of Guinness at him.

"sounds like just the thing, thanks."  he lifts his pint in a toast, takes a sip, and heads back to join his friends who are already gathered around the tables that have been set up for D&D.

"have a seat, shorty," foxy charles scoots over to let him in.

"thanks, tall green and beautiful," he muttered good-naturedly (for gavin) as he settles in.

"awww, i'm shipping for Garvin and Malifox," marian grinned from behind the DM screen.

"wait, you're the DM.  you can't ship for any of the player-characters--you have to be neutral," sierra charlie pointed out.

"what does 'shipping' mean in this context?" gavin asked suspiciously.

"shush!"  marian scolded him.  "now, let me remind our myriad of readers who everyone is, especially since burkie went back to change all the D&D names."

gavin cardigan: Garvin Sweaterbearer, a halfling rogue
foxy charles:  Malifox, a half-orc fighter
sierra charles:  Seyarrah of the Seven Seas, a human cleric
jasper ffoote:  Jinkster Wildeffoote, a human ranger
taylor young:  Russert de Lioncourt, a elven vampire...druid....kinda thing
Mysterious Lurker:  Mysterious Lurker, a tiefling sorceress (tieflings are a half-demon race often charactrized by blue skin, a tail, and horns)
tucker:  Trotter, a half-elf bard

cardigan bristles at the mention of their handome creator and takes another sip or two.

"at the end of our last adventure, the group of you--"

"wait, we need a name for our group!"

"Transylvanguards!"

"no."

"The Woody Guthries."

"no."

"Burkie's Castaways."

"hell, no."

"The Publicans," danny suggested as he delived cardigan's din din with yum yum sauce.

cardigan nodded.  "i like it."  he digs in.  "i like this, too.  yum....er, yum."

marian nodded.  "okay, The Publicans started following the dog down the right-hand path to a cemetery, even though the left-hand path was supposed to lead to their intended destination.  he eventually leads you into a very old graveyard.  some stones are crumbled and faded, some are gone completely.  some are covered up by vines and weeds.  there is a big oak tree in the middle.  the dog runs over with a bark and starts digging at the dirt in front of it.  you approach, slowly, watching the dog.  you hears his claws starts scratching against something that sounds like wood.  he sits back, tongue hanging out, looking very pleased with himself.  you see that he has uncovered a small chest."

"what a nice dog!  let's see what's inside."

"wait!"  Jinkster held up a hand.  "it might be a trap."

"rogues are good at finding traps," Russert noted.  "Garvin, why don't you go inspect it to make sure it's not a trap."

"um, right.  okay,"  gavin swallowed a mouthful of korean bbq.  "i...um...Garvin goes over to look at the box and, um, it looks okay."

marian shook her head.  "no, you have to roll a Perception Check to see if you can perceive a trap.  roll a d20,than add your dexterity modifier and your skill ranks."

"um...okay."  gavin picks through his dice to find the 20-sided one and rolls it, winces, refers to his character sheet.  "um....2 plus...um...okay.  9?"

"Garvin doesn't detect any traps," marian announces.

gavin nods.  "right, so Garvin lifts the box out of the hole and opens it."

marian shakes her head.  "as Garvin attempts to open the box, a greenish mist puffs out toward his face and is instantly paralyzed."

"WHAT?!  you said there wasn't a trap!"

"no, i said you didn't perceive the trap.  your perception roll was too low."

"#&%$!"

"gavin!"

"at that moment, you hear what sounds like bones clacking and look behind you.  there are three skeletons approaching.  the two on either side are carrying long, jagged swords.  the one in the middle is taller, wearing a crown, and hand has a chain around its neck with something mall dangling on it.  roll for initiative!"

they reach for the d20 and roll.  dice are scrambling around the table, followed a series of cheers and groans, and one scolding.

"gavin, you don't roll.  Garvin is paralyzed!"

the players let marian know what their initiative roll was and she jots down the order of attack.

"Lurker, you rolled highest, so you're first."

the Lurker stands, her hair going from red to light blue right before their eyes.  "I extend my left hand toward the skeleton on the left and curl back all but the middle finger, which emits a beam of light blue light straight at him and yell, 'Ray of Frost, you bag of bones!'"

"yay!" marian clapped.  "make an attack roll.  a d20 and add your modifiers."

the Lurker rolls and squeals.  "a 20!"

"that's a critical role!" marian exclaimed.  "roll a d8 for damage, add your modifiers, then double it."

the Lurker picks up her orange 8-sided die, her hair turns orange to match.  the rubs the die on her hair and rolls.

"thats...good!  and with modiefiers...doubled....that's an 18!"

marian rubs her hands together.  "the spell streaks from your middle finger and strikes the fragile skeleton, encasing it in a film of ice. the force of the spell knocks him down and his skeleton frame shatters into a thousand pieces of ice shards."

the Lurker blows on her finger.  "yeah, i'm bad."

"Russert, you're up!"

"right!"  taylor stands and pulls his arm up across his face.  "i pull the top of my cape over the front of my face and stare down the skeleton on the right and hypnotize him."

marian rolled her eyes and said, "okay, make a persuasion check and add your charisma modifier."

"taylor rolled his d20 off the table, and they all had to help him find it, then rolled it again. "12."

marian shook her head.  "his dead, so he is immune to your attempts to hypnotize him."

"hmph."

"Trotter?"

"ah, yes.  well, i'm going to cast Inspire Courage on our new friend Jinkster to increase his attack and damage rolls,"  tucker explained, then strummed a chord.

he knocks an arrow, straight and true
and aims it as his foe
the shaft will fly without a sound
and down his foe will go
uh huh
uh huh
and down his foe will go
hey!

"ah, thanks Trotter."  Jinkster looks pleased and rises, holding his left arm start out and pulling an imaginary bowstring back to his right ear, squinting one eye to fix his gaze.  "i have the boney bastard in my sights and let fly!"

he rolls a d20 and adds his dexterity modifier.  "18!"

"that hits!  roll for attack!"

jasper rolls a d8, adds his modifier and Trotter's inspiration.  "13."

"just enough," marian nods.  "the arrow strikes the sternum, shattering it, and causing the bones connected to it to disengage, and the chain reaction reduced the entire skeleton into a heap of useless bones upon the ground."

"nice shot, Jinkster!" Seyarrah praised him.

"oh!  i'm going to ship Jinkster and Seyarrah, too!"  marian looked at them and grinned, then made a serious face.  "it's the Boss Skeleton's turn.  he raised his hands and sends a red bolt of fire straight at Garvin's supine form."

she rolls a d20.  "what's Garvin's armor class?"

"um, 14."

"the fire bolts slam into Garvin's defenseless body and deals..." she rolls a die and calculates.  "12 damage."

"dammit!  how 'come nobody else gets attacked?"

"you're paralyzed!  of course he's going to attack you.  it's not personal.  Seyarrah, you're up."

"heal me!"

"no, this guy is undead.  cleric's are awesome against undead," sierra grinned and rose.  "i cast Cure Wounds!"she rolls a d20.  "21 with modiefier."

"that hits!  roll for damage."

sierra rolled and frown.  "4."

"my turn!"  foxy stands."  Malifox rushes forward, twirling two swords in her hands, screaming an orcish curse at the skeleton and drive both blades into his chest!"

"okay, roll for the first blade."

"23!"

"okay, roll for attack.  a d10 plus your strength."

"13!"

"now roll for the second sword."

"19?"

"that'll work.  damage?"

"11."

marian looks at her and grins.  "the stage is yours!"

"um...what?"

"that's my catchphrase for when you defeat a boss!  when i say, 'the stage is yours,' it means you have defeated the boss and you may describe the kill."

"that's cool!  macabre, but cool!  okay, let's see.  i leap from about 6 feet away and hurls myself with both blades extended before me straight into the skeleton's ribcage, driving him back and pinning him to the ground as i land with my full weight onto his pelvis, crushing his bones into harmless pieces."

the table applauds and foxy bows.

"can i get some goddamned healing over here?"

"hush, you can't talk!"  poke.

"i guess we should heal him."

"he hasn't been much help.  maybe we should leave him here and save the potions and healing spells for someone more useful?"

cardigan glared as he lifted his pint, and cursed to find it empty.  "danny, another pint!"

"Malifox has a Cure Poison potion," foxy takes her own pint glass and places it against cardigan's mouth.  "drink, Garvin.  this will make you feel 4 foot tall!"

gavin glares and sips.

"i'm going to loot the big guy," Jinkster announces and goes over to pull the chain off from around his neck.  "there's a key here.  it's a...wait for it....wait for it..."

they waited for it.

"a skeleton key."  they groaned and he placed it in his pocket.  "i'm sure it will come in handy later."

"okay, everyone back away from the hole in the ground," the Lurker told them.  "i'm going to conjure Mage Hand and, as the spectral, floating hand comes into being i send it over to the box and open it, letting the poisoin gas float harmlessly out.  the Mage Hand brings the box halfway over and carfeully dumps the context onto the ground, then places the box back in the hole again.  "much better than endangering our halfling."

Russert walks over to inspect the contents on the ground.  "20 gold pieces, a cure poison potion, a healing potion, and a couple of throwing knives."

"give Garvin the knives.  halflings are good at throwing things," Seyarrah suggested, then ducked as a coaster is flung at her head.  "usually, anyway."

"hmph."