Medallica

"good evening, everybody!" gavin cardigan entered the Pub, then stopped and inhaled deeply and with satisfaction. "my god, man! what is that incredible aroma?!"

"cripsy braised chicken with olives, lemon, and fennel," danny blake replied from behind the bar.

"cripsy?" cardigan grinned as he accepted a beer.

danny scowled. "damn burkie and his typos!"

cardigan walked over to join the regulars. "yo."

"shush, gavin!" marian shushed him.

he noted that everyone was gathered around marian's laptop, so he stood next to sierra charles to look over her shoulder. "you're watching the olympics?"

sierra nodded. "yup. since danny won't put a TV in the Pub, we have to watch on marian's laptop."

"what the hell is that?" he saw about 47 ice skaters on the rink, skating chaotic laps and sometimes pushing another skater.

"speed skating relays."

"that's just ridiculous."

"wait until you see the biathlon."

"what's that?"

"cross-country skiing, then shooting a rifle."

"that's a sport?"

"they should have to shoot rifles after skiing moguls instead of cross-country. now THAT would be challenging!"

"why do speed skaters get to contend for about 5 different medals but figure skaters only get a shot at one? that's what people really tune in to see. it pays the bills for all the other sports!"

"it would be great to watch the figure skating on a big wide-screen HD TV," Mysterious Lurker glared at danny as he delivered cardigan's dinner.

"that would attract shirtless buffoons to come in here with 'U.S.A. #1' painted on their substantial bellies," danny replied. "no thank you."

the Lurker blushed as the blue "U.S.A. #1" tattoo on her arm quickly faded away.

"the summer olympics have a pentathlon and a decathlon, not to mention a heptathlon for women. why do the winter games only have a biathlon?"

"wimps."

"they should have to luge, then ski the giant slalom, followed by a hockey shootout competition, and then maybe snow shoveling."

"why isn't dog sledding in the winter olympics?"

"i think that in curling, they should have to slide a mug full of beer down the ice instead of a big rock. then danny could enter."

"competitive ice climbing would be cool."

"i would like to see synchronized snowboarding half-pipe."

"why isn't burkie labeling who is saying what? i can't follow this."

"perhaps blogging while watching the olympics should be an olympic sport. it certainly seems to be challenging burkie."

"how about ice fishing?"

"no!"

"hmph."