Something Liquid This Way Comes

gavin cardigan walked into Poor Yorick's Pub and hung up his jacket. "it's a fine, blustery san francisco july out there, danny boy!"

danny blake nodded from behind the bar. "aye, it is. and a great day for a Guinness and a plateful of summer squash enchiladas."

cardigan took the pint gratefully, but raised a dubious eyebrow. "summer squash enchiladas?"

"trust me. have i ever let you down? has the word enchiladas ever let you down?"

"good points."

cardigan turned to join his friends at their regular table and stopped abruptly. "where is everybody?"

danny shrugged. "they're not here yet. you're the first one tonight."

"i'm never first. everyone else is supposed to be here, and then they draw me into their ridiculous conversations." he fumed. "what do i do now?"

"gavin! come. sit!"

he turned toward the other corner of the Pub to see a white-haired elderly asian woman waving him over to where she sat, flanked by two other women of a similar age. he shrugged and approached the table. "good evening, ladies."

the dark-haired hispanic woman wearing a bright green scarf around her hair kicked a vacant chair toward him. "buenas noches, gavin. i'm esmerrrelda."

the third woman, her hair dyed an atrocious shade of red, held out her hand and smiled. "i'm ruby," she said, then nodded toward the white-haired woman, "and that's pearl."

"i'm gavin, but you seem to know that already."

pearl laughed. "we here every night, just like you!"

"really?"

esmerelda rolled her eyes. "you always go strrraight for your friends and never look at us."

"not that we mind," ruby added. "we enjoying listening to you and watching you."

"i think you and sierra make couple," pearl stated with conviction.

"i think you're sweet on foxy," ruby squeezed his other hand and winked.

esmerelda drained her beer. "i think you are a gay."

"what?!"

esmerelda shrugged. "we are okay with it. this is san frrrancisco."

"well, i'm okay with it, too, but i'm not gay," cardigan insisted.

"so you say. danny, another rrround!" esmerelda pointed at the empty glasses as danny delivered gavin's enchiladas.

"when are you going to start serving scotch like a real bartender, danny?" ruby demanded.

"when are you going to stop asking me that, ruby?"

cardigan tucked into the enchiladas. "good lord! i never knew squash could taste this good."

just then, he heard voices and footsteps at the front and he turned to see sierra charles, marian elfman, taylor young, tucker, linda nulo, Mysterious Lurker, burkie's friend ava, and sgt. tarboom "boom-boom" shakalaka walk exchange pleasantries with danny and then walk back to their regular table.

ruby waved him before he could speak up. "go, go on with your friends. we're interested in hearing what they've been up to, too."

"tell danny blake hurry with beer," pearl told cardigan as he stood up with his enchiladas.

"gavin!" marian greeted him as he took his seat. "you'll never guess where we've been!"

"to see shakespeare in the park?"

"why would we do that?" boom-boom asked, pointing at the english language's greatest dramatist talking to danny behind the bar. "he's right over there."

"we've been practicing roller derby," linda told him, wincing as she took her seat.

"roller derby? why?"

"we formed a team!" marian said. "it was the Lurker's idea."

"i was inspired by the movie Whip It!, starring ellen page," the Lurker explained. "have you seen it?"

cardigan drained his beer, signaled danny for another, and shook his head. "no, but i've seen roller derby. it's rough, but fun. the girls all have crazy names, right?"

"i'm Mel O'Drama!" marian proclaimed proudly.

"i'm L.N. Rage," linda nulo said.

"i'm Bitch Cassidy," the Lurker grinned, then tilted her head toward her apprentice, burkie's friend ava. "and ava is The Lapdance Kid."

"i'm boom-boom shakalaka," boom-boom noted.

"right, why mess with a good thing?" cardigan approved. "how about you, charles?"

sierra shook her head. "i'm not a skater. i own the team. The Sierra Cadres!"

cardigan rolled his eyes.

"and i'm training to be a roller derby announcer," taylor, um, announced. "i'm The Count."

"i guess i'm the only one here without a nickname," cardigan murmured.

"you can have a name, gavin," the Lurker told him. "we still need a coach."

"um, no thanks."

"why not?"

"i'm not coach material. how about dat? he already has a nickname."

"hmph. you're no fun."